75% is Passing!

75% is Passing!

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. “Passing isn’t good enough.” But accomplishing 4.5 out of 6 of the requests in under 24 hours seems pretty legitimate to me. Then again, I’m white so in America that would mean it probably comes out more like a D- after we add affirmative action into the mix. In other words, I’m really sorry folks, I guess I’m going to have to submit my poor performance of 4.5/6.

So the whole challenge to get as many people to come up with ideas proved two things: 1) some of you are really creative and fun 2) most of you aren’t. I’m going to namedrop in somewhat of an awards ceremony kind of way as I work my way through the list of things I was suggested and things I did.

The first suggestion I received was from my wonderful neighbor Nicole Bayus. Now, I expected nothing less than a superb recommendation from this creative-souled individual and she pulled through. Suggesting the Beijing Opera, 京剧，certainly was something that is an integral part of the Chinese culture and most importantly their art forms. Unfortunately, by no fault of Nicole’s, it turns out Beijing Opera is about as exciting as listening to President Obama give a speech. Yea I said it. I just inserted politics into my blog, sue me. The point is, I can’t tell you how quickly I wanted this thing to end. I don’t know if it was the incredibly high pitched ear-shattering voices these girls had or if it was the fact that the plot was like something out of a Barney movie. With all these negatives there were also some positives. Beijing Opera focuses around music, singing, dancing, and acting. I actually started to appreciate the amount of talent that some of the actors have. While I didn’t necessarily enjoy the Opera, I did come to respect parts of it. Finally, I will say that I am glad I was able to experience this. I’ve learned about it in class and now I can finally say I know what the Beijing Opera really is.

Thank you Nicole. I give you an A in creativity.

Michael - 1/1

Opera at its finest.

Screechy voice, great makeup.

Cool ribbon!

The next post I received was from none other than my wonderful sister Kimberlee. Now normally I would have expected something fascinating from her. Instead I was asked to take a picture of a Chinese dung-catcher. For those of you who don’t understand, she wanted me to take a picture of a defecating hole. Fortunately for everyone following this blog and for my nostrils, she left me a second option. “Got eat a bug for me.” This wasn’t extremely creative, but it was a challenge nonetheless and I took it as such. I could have whimped out and eaten something like a cricket or a cockroach but I decided to go all out. You will see below, and if you really care to watch on facebook, me eating a fried scorpion. And here’s the most shocking part. I actually enjoyed the first bite so much that I finished the other three.

Kimberlee, I hope you are satisfied. I give you an A in excitement. I won’t mention your grade in creativity.

Michael - 2/2

                                  

                                     

Yumm (click on the picture for detail of the scorpion, and my nosehair)

The third response I received was another one of my amazing sisters, Natalie. Of course Natalie did her homework and found one of the coolest places I’ve seen in China. Unfortunately, she didn’t remember the rules. It had to be in Beijing. Guilin is a pretty cool place with caves and mountains and lakes and all sorts of interesting things. It’s also about a 20 hour train ride south of Beijing.

Natalie, I give you an A for coming up with the coolest thing that I couldn’t do. But I’ll try after New Zealand! PS- Tell Madisen I love her!

Michael- 2/3

The fourth response is where it gets interesting. Now for some reason, people start giving me things to do that might get me killed and of course, being the risk taker that I am, I oblige. The sad part is, it’s my mother that inadvertently tried to kill me. Her recommendation follows: “Find a hospital and see what it looks like inside. You probably can’t take pictures but go inside anyways” (I paraphrase). AKA – Michael, I know H1N1 is going around there like crazy, but would you mind doing me a favor and not showing what one looks like but still walking in and in turn putting your life in danger? Sure mom, could I do anything else for you? Want me to tell you what it feels like to get AIDS? Or how about we can do an experiment where we cut my head off and you watch to see how many times I can wink while decapitated? Mind you, this is the woman who didn’t want me to skydive or go river rafting in New Zealand. Irony.

Now, truth be told, I don’t really believe my mother wants to kill me and because I love her so much, I tried to try it. The thing was, when I showed up at the hospital, I saw hundreds of people walking in and out with masks on. Now, I take risks, but I’m not an idiot. I didn’t go in out of fear, call me a whimp, I just couldn’t do it. I did however take pictures and asked if I was allowed to walk in. So there you go mother. I love you and you certainly love me.

Mom, you will get an A for being my mom. Just because I don’t think anyone could have done a better job raising me, nor would they ever have wanted to. J

Michael – 3/4

About as close as I got.

Fifth response comes from my dear friend Genna. Again, unintentionally, Genna came up with a life-threatening proposal. To most individuals, visiting a bee sanctuary might seem like a good idea. However, two things didn’t occur to Genna when she made this proposal: 1) I’m allergic to bees and NEVER carry an Epi-Pen with me, 2) This is China. When I say this is China it’s for this reason—normally in countries like America, or even socialist nations like France, there are things called safety regulations. Bee sanctuaries might be visible through glass or somewhere that you can’t get stung in case they decided to attack. However, China does just about the opposite. Instead of waiting for you to enter the museum, they prefer the shock and awe technique where before you enter you have to walk through a barrage of bees attempting to get back to their hives to feed the queen. Brilliant! Except that I was so fearful of my life I took three pictures of the bee “nests” and took off running in the other direction.

Thank you Genna for your idea, it truly was an experience. You receive an A by virtue of the fact that in order to get to the Bee Museum, I actually had to go to the Beijing Botanical Garden which was not only beautiful but actually really interesting.

Michael – 4/5

Far-too-exposed and far too many bee hives.

If you enlarge, you can see them flying!!!!!!!!!! EVERYWHERE!

The final post automatically gets an A because it came from three of my favorite people and because it didn’t put my life in any sort of danger. This comes from Lotte, my wonderful sister-in-law who has produced two of the most amazing children this world has ever seen, and of course Cayman and Anderson, my niece and nephew respectively. I was asked to help Cayman with one of her projects in finding a community helper. Now since this is a Communist Country I could have taken the easy way out and taken a picture of just about anyone that was walking on the street. I am a bigger person than that and decided I would dig deeper. Although I couldn’t find a doctor (please see above for reason) I was able to find several interesting community helpers. A police officer with a shank attached to what appears to be his assault rifle. A group of military men sitting in the seats of the water cube at Olympic park doing absolutely nothing to help the community. People rappelling from the roof of a building that is much too tall and cleaning windows. And finally, a taxi.

Now I realize these probably aren’t ideal, but Lotte, I was honestly afraid for my life to walk up to Hu Jintao or even walk into the hospital and ask to take a picture. These are the best I could do. I think the one with the police officer is actually pretty cool. If need be, I give you permission to blur out the rifle and shank in case that is seen as a little too aggressive in nature for Cayman’s kindergarten class.

Lotte, Anderson, and Cayman all get an A. However, their father gets an Incomplete for failing to suggest a single thing on the blog. Way to lead by example John.

Michael – 5/6

Rugged. Don't mind the peace sign.

America, have no fear, China's army is near.

Wow...

Taxi Driver nearly killing anyone and everyone in his way.

Chinese street-sweepers.

Thank you for playing this weeks edition of “Coming Up With Ideas for Michael to do so He Wont’ Have To!”

By the way, can someone please fill me in on why Obama just won the Nobel Peace Prize? Is that some kind of joke? Is it because he finally brought peace to Iraq and Afghanistan? Or is it because he let North Korea use the Atlantic Ocean as target practice for nuclear missiles? Maybe it’s because he thought it would be a good idea to accuse Iran of holding weapons of mass destruction; after all, we saw how well that worked last time in the obtaining peace.

Farewell China for now, hello New Zealand.

Ciao!

Michael