Parental Discretion is Advised

Parents: If your college aged child disappears and ends up in a third world country after reading this blog, please contact my lawyer at 1(800) 555-1234. If he doesn't answer, just keep trying.

Cultural relativism, according to the flawless Wikipedia, is defined as the principle that an individual human’s beliefs and activities should be understood in terms of his or her own culture. Traveling the world has forced me to remind myself of the importance of this way of thinking. To visit a society for a week is one thing; to be immersed in that same society for more than two months requires effort and study.

I have been in Hefei now for a little over a week and have already experienced more than I could have ever asked for. Being involved in dinners, meetings, classes, and much more has given me a perspective on the Chinese culture that is, not only interesting, but truly necessary in order to gain the respect of the people.

I intend to cover two things in this blog. The first being the countless cultural differences and means of overcoming them; the second being how extraordinarily cheap it truly is to live in this country compared to America. The second topic might seem out of place but the reason I want to cover it is simple: I’m tired of people emailing me telling me how much they wish they could travel abroad but don’t have the time or the money. Obviously, it is aimed at those of us who are lucky enough to be in college or even the later stages of high school.

Cultural Differences

The simplest things can often be perceived as rude or disrespectful. Take dinner for example. In America, the only seats that resemble status are at the head of the table. However, in China, almost all tables are circular. The most important guest sits farthest from and facing the door. As you go around the table, your importance becomes less and less until your back is facing directly to the door and you are the closest. The reason for this has to do with ancient times. People closest to the door were most susceptible to attacks from enemies entering the dining area. Simple enough. Lesson learned.

The next is food. Now this has less to do with being rude and more to do with survival. While eating a meal the other day I started putting what I thought were vegetables into a tortilla-like food to make myself a good old Chinese taco. Of course, I didn’t really examine the substance but ate it with delight. My pallet was pleased and I had no worries. Until… my colleague asked, “Are these baby snakes?” To my dismay, the long vegetables were not vegetables at all but rather headless snakes in disguise. Here is the most incredible phenomenon. Even though the dish was delicious and I had already stomached at least two tacos, it became much harder to swallow knowing I was eating miniature satans from the Garden of Eden. Conclusion: When in China, eat first, ask questions later. Since adopting this strategy I have become much more “Chinese” to say the least. I have devoured bowls of sea-slug soup, eaten chicken tongues, digested pig feet and most likely much much more. In order to appear cultured and to avoid offending other people, eat then ask.

Tangent: I just want to point out something I have learned that even made me cringe for some negative reason whether it was disgust, sadness, or something else it is really irrelevant. Somewhere near the border of China and Vietnam monkey brains are a delicacy. The monkeys are rhesus monkeys and they are extremely expensive. However, if your wallet allows and your fear of the afterlife is non-existent, it is possible to consume "live monkey brains." I know this sounds sadistic and borderline cannibalistic, but, being the only source of information from China that most of you have, I find it necessary to explain. The monkey, who we shall call Curious George, is first force-fed rice wine to inebriate the him. George is then placed in a constraining device where his skull is viewed from the table. The "chef"/sick human being/future serial killer then takes a knife and cracks the skull of the living monkey open until the brain is visible. At this point, I pass out. Then, boiling soup is poured into the monkey's skull to cook the brains and add flavor. How many of you sick people are still reading this? ha. Finally, the starving diners are allowed to enjoy some fresh monkey brain while Curious George screams at you and questions your humanity. I know I've tried many disgusting things in my life. But, I think this might be where I draw the line. Anyone else interested in trying?

Some other things to avoid: hugging, asking adults their first name, turning down an offering of green tea, not drinking alcohol at the dinner table especially when toasts are being given, disagreeing with the Chinese government, etc. If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask, I’ll be here all month.

Cost of Living (COL)

Traveling in America is extremely expensive. For God’s sake America’s poverty line begins at $30 dollars a day for one person. Let’s consider: My flight to China cost me $800 dollars round trip, spread out over 60 days that is about $13/day. Add in the cost of food in Hefei, I’m talking very good food, at a meager $3/day. I’m currently living in a 3 star hotel for approximately $10/day. My daily cost of living including travel expenses comes out to $26/day. Now, how many friends of mine reading this blog honestly think they live anywhere near the poverty line? I would go out on a limb and say that there isn’t a single one of my friends in college that touches $50/day living in America during the summer months while home from school. Now will someone please explain to me why you can’t “afford” to travel all over the world again? (Note: If anyone uses this as a bargaining tool with their parents, you must up the ante to $52/day to travel and change the cost of living in America to $100/day and bring me along with you!)

On to serious business. Over the course of the past week since my last blog I have met some fascinating people and learned so much from some of the brightest minds I’ve ever spoken to (this excludes you Dad of course…). I feel like I’ve just been thrown into a dream situation at the cost of $26/day. Every day I wake up, go into the office, study Chinese, meet someone important for lunch, study more Chinese or maybe attend a lecture on business in China, and then have dinner with a government official! Somewhat of an exaggeration but it’s incredible nonetheless. My spoken Chinese is improving rapidly and my reading and writing is gaining some speed but I can’t begin to describe how lucky I feel to be working with some of the brightest minds in the fields of business and education in China and the world for that matter.

Every day I engage in thoughtful debate with individuals who have spent their lives researching these topics and I get pummeled over and over again only to find a new perspective. I’m still not a communist sympathizer and I will forever cherish In-N-Out, but I am truly expanding my horizons in the truest definition of the phrase. I am attending lectures by ex-university presidents from America and sitting in on MBA classes at the MIT of China. Thank you all for reading my blog. I know I go off on random tangents and sometimes they are excruciatingly long but I’m trying my best to share my experiences and the incredible things I learn every day. It’s a lot more difficult to write a frequent blog mostly due to time constraints and a lack of change from day to day life. If anyone has any questions just email me or comment on the blog!

再见, that’s goodbye in Chinese,

Michael

Pictures:

Chicken tongues and other mouth parts...

The infamous chicken feet

Pig foot with straw to slurp out the bone marrow

Sea-Cucumber soup with everything!

Some comedy for you to lighten the load

Brace Yourself...

I haven’t posted a blog in what seems like two months. It’s really been a week which is far too long and I apologize. However, I didn’t want to post a blog that consisted of travel information like flight numbers and boring tidbits like that. I wanted to wait until I had something exciting to report on. So here it is. Let me add a warning. This blog isn’t necessarily exciting. I would rate it more of an informative blog rather than entertaining. I apologize if it’s dull.

The flight back to Beijing was not too bad. As a side effect of attempting to spend the night in the airport the night before my flight from New Zealand, I was almost able to sleep the entire duration of my flights. My stay in Beijing was short. Highlight was probably getting a full head shave in a local barbershop. Hair is semi-normal as you’ll see in the pictures later.

I arrived in Hefei not knowing at all what to expect. I hadn’t met anyone here, I didn’t have a clue what I would be doing, and I didn’t know where I would be staying. Those questions are somewhat answered at this point.

Dr. Lu is my supervisor, you might call him, for the next two months I will be at China University of Science and Technology in Hefei. He has a PhD in Business and is a really intelligent and easy-going person. I quickly realized I would be staying at the University Guest House which is basically a mini-hotel in the middle of the campus. It’s nice. My room is quaint but absolutely livable. The first night I was here I was invited to dinner with some important guests that Dr. Lu was also responsible for. It was a good experience to get to know everyone and to get a feel for the people I was going to be working with. Dr. Lu is actually a pretty important person in China. His students range from Government officials to Presidents of large corporations. It's nice knowing that I'm in pretty good hands! Let's just say he's kind of a big deal and leave it at that!

A note on the University. China has it's set of elite universities. The comparisons that come to mind are Beijing University = Harvard and Xinghua University = Princeton. Well, according to several sources that I've talked to from the University and from America, USTC (the school I'm at) is usually compared to MIT. Not a poor comparison I guess. Pretty good in my book. Maybe I don't belong here! haha

The next morning we left for a conference in WuHu, Anhui Province—about a 2 hour drive. The Chinese government put us all up in a five star hotel in WuHu and each of us was given our own room with two beds and way too many free gifts. We were spoiled. Now, I’ve stayed at many hotels in my life, but this hotel was extravagant. My room was on the 27^th floor overlooking the Yangzi River and the rest of WuHu. I was so high up, my ears literally popped every time I took the elevator—I didn’t even know that was possible.

As soon as we arrived in WuHu we met with the Mayor of the city and he had a banquet for us at his favorite restaurant. Food was delicious and it was one of my first traditional-style meals. Chinese people love to make toasts! I think people toasted to me like 45 times in the past 3 days. Why? I have no idea.

After lunch we were given a tour of the Chery car company’s assembly line which was fascinating. Right after the tour we headed to the opening dinner of the Cartoon Conference. Did I mention this entire conference was about cartoons? Well, it was. The dinner again was delicious. I was able to shake hands with the Communist Party leader of Anhui Province. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it’s a big deal. He’s kind of like the equivalent of Arnold Schwarzenegger without all the movies. After dinner we rushed in to see the Anhui Province version of the Beijing Opera. (Shout out to Nichole, this Anhui Opera is about 100 times more interesting and more tolerable than the Beijing version). It was quite long, I was pretty tired and it finally ended. Here’s where it gets cool. Our drive from the theatre to the hotel was about a 45 minute drive earlier in the day. But, since we were somehow inserted into the Party leader’s motorcade and every street was shut down and every light was green we made it in about 15 minutes. My first thought was “I hope one day I’m important enough that I am in a motorcade that I actually deserve to be in, not just by chance.” The Chinese Party Leaders were forced to stay in a four star hotel vs. our five star because their hotel was apparently easier to post security. That’s right.

The next morning I woke up early and went for a run to the Yangzi River to get a close up view. The river is massive. There are freighters all along it and the water wouldn't necessarily be well thought of by the World Health Organization. Cool nonetheless.

After my run we ended up going to the opening ceremonies of the conference. It’s a funny thing in China. Big events aren’t considered important unless they have their token white man present. We were their token white men. I was invited onstage by the organizers but I failed to bring a suit to China. If I had a suit, I would have been standing alongside the Communist Party leader of Anhui province and the mayor. Why? Best way to describe this is to say that it has a lot to do with my international appearance! It was an interesting morning filled with cartoons.

Finally, we bailed and had another banquet lunch. Before heading home, Dr. Lu arranged for us to go fishing (see pictures below). Fishing in China was something I never thought I would have the chance to do. It was a really cool experience and although I caught no fish (I blame it on the bait they gave me), I had a really good time.

I feel like I’ve been extremely spoiled in the past two days primarily by the Communist Government. I don’t think the rest of my stay will be like that but it was a really great way to start off my time in China.

I’ll try to do some fun and interesting things as soon as possible in order to make this blog actually readable.

Thanks,

Michael

Pictures:

Polluted but pretty cool view nonetheless. Yangzi River with heavy traffic. WuHu in the foreground.

I wasn't kidding about being treated like royalty. Not enough space for my last name, no biggie. It's the thought that counts.

On a Chinese assembly line.

Turtle head anyone? Who would ever eat that?

I would! This sounds disgusting, but the brain is actually really delicious. Tender.

Communist Party Leader of Anhui Province

Fishing in the middle of farmland. Traditional style. Fun stuff.

CHOICE!

Entering most countries poses a problem. This problem is simple and common: language. However, thanks to the British incredible ability to conquer nations and create colonies, we Americans reap the benefit. Shall we point out a few: India, South Africa, most of Africa, Australia, Canada, Hong Kong, and of course, New Zealand. This might sound great to some, but it does come with a hitch. English in New Zealand can actually seem like a foreign language sometimes. It’s amazing. Slang like “Sweet as!”, “Choice”, “Mate”, “JAFA”, “Cheers”, “Breakie”, “Sunnies”, and way too many more. In order, translated to English: “Awesome”, “Great”, “Friend”, Just another F***** Aucklander”, “Goodbye”, “Breakfast”, “Sunglasses.” The point I’m trying to make is this, sometimes you might as well be in a country that speaks a foreign language. It’s almost like Spanish vs. Portuguese or Mandarin vs. Cantonese; it gets tough.

The good news is that no matter what, these people, foreign language speakers or not, are good mates. (See some of you might think that means good for reproducing or a good lay but you would be wrong). They are simply cool people. When stretching the limits of what is humanly possible and mentally permissible, it really helps to have good folks cheering you on and helping you every step. Which brings me to my next point.

A great example: ice climbing. Now this isn’t your every day hike up a hill that has a little ice buildup because of yesterday’s slight drizzle. I’m talking straight 80 foot glacier cliffs with a vertical slope and a few overhangs. It was surreal. Also quite frightening. I’m starting to realize the power of adrenaline. With activities like ice climbing with pickaxes and skydiving and scuba diving and whitewater rafting and mountain biking, I don’t understand why people need drugs. Adrenaline is the most incredible drug. Best of all, it usually comes pretty cheap. Life is unbelievable. Life in New Zealand is a gift from God.

Ice climbing consisted of stiff boots, crampons (ice picks on feet), two ice axes, and a helmet. With three anchors at the top of the ice wall acting as a pulley and a person holding the other end of the rope with a belaying device, your objective is to climb the wall by kicking the ice and reaching as high as possible with the axes. By the time you reach the top, you can’t feel your arms if you are lucky. If you happen to under-work and don’t reach the point of paralysis in your arms, you feel pain like it’s going out of business. Top it all off with an accidental look down to an 80 foot straight drop onto jagged ice and you got yourself a rush of adrenaline.

I don’t know if the pictures do it justice but it was one hell of a day. Definitely the most incredible thing I have done this entire trip. It’s something I really hope to do again in the near future.

Explanation of the hair. Transformation is the best word to describe it. It might only be mental but it works well enough for me. The reason I decided to allow Matt Hall to do this to my head was because I realized that jumping out of a plane was not something the reserved Michael would be willing to do. I needed a new me at least for the time being. I thought the archetypal being that does things like jump out of planes or climb ice walls that are far too tall usually has a Mohawk and not a care in the world. That was the goal. So far it seems to be working. Fear not my amazing brother and my poor mother, the landing strip will be gone by the end of the trip and before I meet anyone who may judge me at first sight.

Thanks everyone for your support. This whole experience has been amazing. I leave for China again on Monday and I’m not sure what exactly I’ll be doing while I’m there but I promise to keep uploading pictures and blogs.

Love and Prayers,

Michael

Picton, New Zealand. Speaks for itself, make sure you enlarge it.

We saw this dead cow on our tour of Glenorchy.

Glenorchy

That's higher than it looks, especially if you look down.

So much fun.

Toodaloo...

G'day Mate

Picture above will be explained tomorrow. For now, I shaved my head and left a Mohawk.

Moving on. Have you ever been to a place where you seriously considered never leaving? Giving up everything you have worked so hard for and living the simple life? Knowing that no matter how terrible your life is, you can always rest assured that you live in one of the most beautiful places on planet earth? New Zealand is that place.

It’s hard to elaborate in words but it parallels heaven on earth. I don’t mean that in the cliché way that most people use it, but I actually think that if God ever chose a place on earth to be heaven, it would look a lot like New Zealand. With a little over 1 million people and a much higher number of sheep on the island, this place is untouched. It’s impossible to find a place that reminds you of somewhere like Beijing or LA. It’s nature at it’s most pure and I’ve already vowed to retire here.

After arriving in Christchurch we quickly headed across the island to Queenstown where the town is surrounded by mountains and the most beautiful lake I’ve ever seen. While the mountains don’t reach extremely high altitudes, they do protrude up to 12,000 ft from sea level which is indescribable. We spent most of yesterday exploring Queenstown until we decided to white water raft down a class 4 section. With water at a sweltering 4 degrees Celsius, we were chilly to say the least. Unfortunately, nobody in our raft could match AJ’s ejection in Placerville this past summer. It was fun nonetheless.

After rafting we took a locals recommendation and decided to eat at Fergburger. Go ahead, do it now, make fun of the name. Do not make fun of their burgers. Matt Hall and I decided we would take the Fergburger Challenge and attempt to eat Big Al, their largest burger. It consisted of a half pound of meat, beets, onions, tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, bacon, two fried eggs, and various sauces. It was truly a man’s burger, better yet, a manburger. We both succeeded with varying degrees of stomach pain but the feeling of absolute masculinity that followed was well worth it.

Today was no less exciting. We woke up around 3:30 am and headed straight for Milford Sound, Fjordland. It was a four hour drive and I probably would have driven another 30 hours to simply get a glimpse of the majesty of this place. Do yourself a favor, look it up on wikipedia, then come visit it as soon as possible but don’t forget to bring me. We decided on the kayaking expedition which began at 9 am and finished around 3 pm. It was a considerable amount of work but definitely the only way to truly get a feel for the awesomeness of this place. I don’t have much else to say about it but look at my pictures, it’s otherworldly.

Tomorrow is going to be equally exciting. Pray for me. I miss you all and I’m sorry for such a short blog and for such a long period of no blog as the last few days have been hectic.

Let me know how you like the pictures!

Pictures:

Te Anau- Beautiful and has even better food.

View from pier in Queenstown.

View from peer overlooking water.

View from outside hotel.

Beach beneath hotel.

Sunset

Fjords in Fjordland. Honestly, this picture does this place no justice. You have to come on your own to understand it's beauty. Imagine kayaking while surrounded by cliffs rising close to 5,000 feet. Waterfalls were unbelievable. It was cold, but I would have done it a thousand times over.

Who's that beauty on the left? Kayaking in Fjordland. This is before the haircut as you can see.

Thank you everyone, keep me in your prayers!

Michael

75% is Passing!

75% is Passing!

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. “Passing isn’t good enough.” But accomplishing 4.5 out of 6 of the requests in under 24 hours seems pretty legitimate to me. Then again, I’m white so in America that would mean it probably comes out more like a D- after we add affirmative action into the mix. In other words, I’m really sorry folks, I guess I’m going to have to submit my poor performance of 4.5/6.

So the whole challenge to get as many people to come up with ideas proved two things: 1) some of you are really creative and fun 2) most of you aren’t. I’m going to namedrop in somewhat of an awards ceremony kind of way as I work my way through the list of things I was suggested and things I did.

The first suggestion I received was from my wonderful neighbor Nicole Bayus. Now, I expected nothing less than a superb recommendation from this creative-souled individual and she pulled through. Suggesting the Beijing Opera, 京剧，certainly was something that is an integral part of the Chinese culture and most importantly their art forms. Unfortunately, by no fault of Nicole’s, it turns out Beijing Opera is about as exciting as listening to President Obama give a speech. Yea I said it. I just inserted politics into my blog, sue me. The point is, I can’t tell you how quickly I wanted this thing to end. I don’t know if it was the incredibly high pitched ear-shattering voices these girls had or if it was the fact that the plot was like something out of a Barney movie. With all these negatives there were also some positives. Beijing Opera focuses around music, singing, dancing, and acting. I actually started to appreciate the amount of talent that some of the actors have. While I didn’t necessarily enjoy the Opera, I did come to respect parts of it. Finally, I will say that I am glad I was able to experience this. I’ve learned about it in class and now I can finally say I know what the Beijing Opera really is.

Thank you Nicole. I give you an A in creativity.

Michael - 1/1

Opera at its finest.

Screechy voice, great makeup.

Cool ribbon!

The next post I received was from none other than my wonderful sister Kimberlee. Now normally I would have expected something fascinating from her. Instead I was asked to take a picture of a Chinese dung-catcher. For those of you who don’t understand, she wanted me to take a picture of a defecating hole. Fortunately for everyone following this blog and for my nostrils, she left me a second option. “Got eat a bug for me.” This wasn’t extremely creative, but it was a challenge nonetheless and I took it as such. I could have whimped out and eaten something like a cricket or a cockroach but I decided to go all out. You will see below, and if you really care to watch on facebook, me eating a fried scorpion. And here’s the most shocking part. I actually enjoyed the first bite so much that I finished the other three.

Kimberlee, I hope you are satisfied. I give you an A in excitement. I won’t mention your grade in creativity.

Michael - 2/2

                                  

                                     

Yumm (click on the picture for detail of the scorpion, and my nosehair)

The third response I received was another one of my amazing sisters, Natalie. Of course Natalie did her homework and found one of the coolest places I’ve seen in China. Unfortunately, she didn’t remember the rules. It had to be in Beijing. Guilin is a pretty cool place with caves and mountains and lakes and all sorts of interesting things. It’s also about a 20 hour train ride south of Beijing.

Natalie, I give you an A for coming up with the coolest thing that I couldn’t do. But I’ll try after New Zealand! PS- Tell Madisen I love her!

Michael- 2/3

The fourth response is where it gets interesting. Now for some reason, people start giving me things to do that might get me killed and of course, being the risk taker that I am, I oblige. The sad part is, it’s my mother that inadvertently tried to kill me. Her recommendation follows: “Find a hospital and see what it looks like inside. You probably can’t take pictures but go inside anyways” (I paraphrase). AKA – Michael, I know H1N1 is going around there like crazy, but would you mind doing me a favor and not showing what one looks like but still walking in and in turn putting your life in danger? Sure mom, could I do anything else for you? Want me to tell you what it feels like to get AIDS? Or how about we can do an experiment where we cut my head off and you watch to see how many times I can wink while decapitated? Mind you, this is the woman who didn’t want me to skydive or go river rafting in New Zealand. Irony.

Now, truth be told, I don’t really believe my mother wants to kill me and because I love her so much, I tried to try it. The thing was, when I showed up at the hospital, I saw hundreds of people walking in and out with masks on. Now, I take risks, but I’m not an idiot. I didn’t go in out of fear, call me a whimp, I just couldn’t do it. I did however take pictures and asked if I was allowed to walk in. So there you go mother. I love you and you certainly love me.

Mom, you will get an A for being my mom. Just because I don’t think anyone could have done a better job raising me, nor would they ever have wanted to. J

Michael – 3/4

About as close as I got.

Fifth response comes from my dear friend Genna. Again, unintentionally, Genna came up with a life-threatening proposal. To most individuals, visiting a bee sanctuary might seem like a good idea. However, two things didn’t occur to Genna when she made this proposal: 1) I’m allergic to bees and NEVER carry an Epi-Pen with me, 2) This is China. When I say this is China it’s for this reason—normally in countries like America, or even socialist nations like France, there are things called safety regulations. Bee sanctuaries might be visible through glass or somewhere that you can’t get stung in case they decided to attack. However, China does just about the opposite. Instead of waiting for you to enter the museum, they prefer the shock and awe technique where before you enter you have to walk through a barrage of bees attempting to get back to their hives to feed the queen. Brilliant! Except that I was so fearful of my life I took three pictures of the bee “nests” and took off running in the other direction.

Thank you Genna for your idea, it truly was an experience. You receive an A by virtue of the fact that in order to get to the Bee Museum, I actually had to go to the Beijing Botanical Garden which was not only beautiful but actually really interesting.

Michael – 4/5

Far-too-exposed and far too many bee hives.

If you enlarge, you can see them flying!!!!!!!!!! EVERYWHERE!

The final post automatically gets an A because it came from three of my favorite people and because it didn’t put my life in any sort of danger. This comes from Lotte, my wonderful sister-in-law who has produced two of the most amazing children this world has ever seen, and of course Cayman and Anderson, my niece and nephew respectively. I was asked to help Cayman with one of her projects in finding a community helper. Now since this is a Communist Country I could have taken the easy way out and taken a picture of just about anyone that was walking on the street. I am a bigger person than that and decided I would dig deeper. Although I couldn’t find a doctor (please see above for reason) I was able to find several interesting community helpers. A police officer with a shank attached to what appears to be his assault rifle. A group of military men sitting in the seats of the water cube at Olympic park doing absolutely nothing to help the community. People rappelling from the roof of a building that is much too tall and cleaning windows. And finally, a taxi.

Now I realize these probably aren’t ideal, but Lotte, I was honestly afraid for my life to walk up to Hu Jintao or even walk into the hospital and ask to take a picture. These are the best I could do. I think the one with the police officer is actually pretty cool. If need be, I give you permission to blur out the rifle and shank in case that is seen as a little too aggressive in nature for Cayman’s kindergarten class.

Lotte, Anderson, and Cayman all get an A. However, their father gets an Incomplete for failing to suggest a single thing on the blog. Way to lead by example John.

Michael – 5/6

Rugged. Don't mind the peace sign.

America, have no fear, China's army is near.

Wow...

Taxi Driver nearly killing anyone and everyone in his way.

Chinese street-sweepers.

Thank you for playing this weeks edition of “Coming Up With Ideas for Michael to do so He Wont’ Have To!”

By the way, can someone please fill me in on why Obama just won the Nobel Peace Prize? Is that some kind of joke? Is it because he finally brought peace to Iraq and Afghanistan? Or is it because he let North Korea use the Atlantic Ocean as target practice for nuclear missiles? Maybe it’s because he thought it would be a good idea to accuse Iran of holding weapons of mass destruction; after all, we saw how well that worked last time in the obtaining peace.

Farewell China for now, hello New Zealand.

Ciao!

Michael

Break the Monotony

At the end of this blog post I will indulge each and every one of you with a compilation of funny, sometimes hilarious, pictures I have taken since I've been in this wonderful country. However, first thing's first.

Since I have been here for about 7 days total and every day I have been challenged to come up with something entertaining or travel somewhere cool I have decided to turn the tables. 

Here it is: 

I CHALLENGE EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO READS THIS TO EMBARK ON AN INTELLECTUAL JOURNEY, BE IT GOOGLE, WIKIPEDIA, ETC, IN SEARCH OF SOMETHING OR SOMEWHERE UNIQUE YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO VISIT FOR YOU IN OR AROUND BEIJING. ANYTHING ON MY LIST THAT IS REASONABLE WILL BE VISITED, PHOTOGRAPHED AND WRITTEN ABOUT IN THE FOLLOWING BLOG. 

Fine Print: Things like the Great Wall and Tiananmen Square are not considered unique. I'm thinking about things like the strangest food you can find in Beijing and then challenge me to try it. I dare you.

Hopefully this post comes back with some refreshingly new ideas. Get to work.

Now, here is your indulgence.

Pictures:

1. On a sacred Buddhist temple in the Summer Palace, Peggy explains how much she loves New York. I understand most Americans aren't the brightest, but Peggy proves that the dumbest come from NY.

2. There she is again. Peace be with you. And also with you.

3. One of my favorites. Look at the sincerity, she's not half-assing that one.

4. The beautiful lake, and then of course, she pops up again.

5. I'm not sure if this picture is sad or funny. It's sad because the little monkey is eating paper. It's funny because, well, the little monkey is eating paper. PETA, please don't sue me, it's the Beijing Zoo.

6. This I know is funny. That little kid wouldn't stop hitting the glass and then all of a sudden, this brilliant monkey shared how he felt about the kid.

7. People feeding the zebras. That sign is just a mistranslation, it really says, in Chinese, "Feed These Animals Because We Aren't"

8. They teach the peace sign very young here in China.

9. That sign really says, "Parents, don't let your kids climb on these statues, instead you should pick them up and put them on the statues."

 

Matter

Some of you are probably wondering why I named this Blog post “Matter.” As opposed to the previous posts, which I would like to call “Antimatter,” I intend to fill this one with loads of new and interesting experiences—substance you might say. Others of you might be asking: “Michael, isn’t antimatter the lack of matter altogether, therefore leading me to conclude that you haven’t posted anything in the past and they are all figments of my imagination?” Still others of you, few I imagine, who understand that antimatter is just a poor choice of a name given to a substance that can not be seen but must exist according to current scientific datasets and models might understand that I am simply attempting to differentiate between posts that contain entertainment and posts that contain pictures of landmarks and historical references and the like.

So here is Matter:

Yesterday was rather uneventful. For this reason I decided to opt out of blogging about it and losing a lot interest in this forum. I did do a lot of studying Chinese and a lot of reading. However life became a little more exciting when I decided to make a trip to Hou Hai (后海 for those of you that can read Chinese). When I arrived, I was swiftly greeted by a young man inviting me to a “Nu Hai Ba Jiu”, or a “Women Bar”, where he said, and I quote, “The women are cheap, but the beer is cheaper.”

Needless to say I declined.

I met up with some friends and we had hot pot. Interjection: I know I warn everyone about the food out here and how “terrible” it can be at times. But when I say this, I mean it as a warning for those of you who think anything besides hot dogs and steak is considered going out on a limb. In other words, for people who like to try new things, the food here is incredible. Hot pot is a type of food, similar to “The Melting Pot”, where you order a lot of uncooked foods and cook it in a boiler placed in front of you. I could probably eat this meal every night. When I say I love the food here in China, I mean it. It has literally gotten to the point where every morning I wake up excited for what new food the day might bring. Don’t worry Candice, I’m trying to offset this with a consistent workout schedule.

Today was a little more adventurous. After a short video chat with my enlightening brother, I was motivated to go out and explore places I’ve already been and see what I happen upon. The results are shown below in pictures. The first place I visited was the Summer Palace. The Summer Palace is an interesting place for many reasons. It was first built in the 1700’s as a place of respite for the Emperor. It consists primarily of what I like to think of as little ancient Chinese condominiums and several larger temples for worshipping the all-knowing Buddha. It was destroyed in the Anglo-French invasion of 1860 but rebuilt in 1902. Behind the primary structure are seven smaller temples, each for some different kind of Buddhist worship. All of the structures are beautiful, I only wonder how true to their original form they really are.

After the Summer Palace I decided to visit the Olympic Park. It was jam packed, unsurprisingly. However, I was fortunate enough to find an illegal scalper working hard to make his money selling a ticket to get inside the Water Cube. I got a full on tour of the place and was also able to get really close to the Birds Nest and pictures of both are posted below as well. Apparently they had a special where you could pay to swim in the Water Cube and I considered it until I came to the realization that Michael Phelps won however many Gold Medals in that precise pool and I felt it would be borderline sacrilege for someone of my caliber to even touch the water. Again, I declined.

It is now evening in Beijing and I have been here for 6 days. While I wasn’t able to sneak into Tibet or North Korea, I have been making the most of my time since I’ve been here. My Chinese has already improved and I have discovered parts of Beijing I didn’t even know existed. With that said, I anxiously await not only New Zealand which I leave for this Saturday, but also Hefei. I would love to sit and write more and explain to you why cultural relativism is so important to understand while visiting countries like China but I really must go. Hot pot is waiting and I’ve always been told to never leave the one you love waiting. 


Pictures: (Click on them to enlarge)
1. The result of a glorious hot pot!
2. Summer Palace -- resembles a Chinese Venice, somewhat
3. The Seven Temples
4. Detail work ladies and gentlemen. The Chinese don't half-ass their refurbishing.
5. Old China (foreground) and New China (background)
6. Temple of Buddhist Virtue at Summer Palace
7. Birds Nest
8. Water Cube outside
9. Inside the Water Cube