Unsettling Facts

Loyal Followers,

There hasn't been much excitement here in China since Dad and Janie left so I haven't felt the need to post a blog. However, I know my Mom and Dad are dying to read something written by me so I felt the need to come up with something relevant to my time in China but also interesting enough to post on here since they aren't the only ones who read it.

I'll begin with an update on life. It has been getting much warmer lately in Beijing. Yesterday it was about 70 outside and I even went and laid in the university park to get some sun while reading. The forecast for the next 5 days looks similar. Surprisingly, there has also been very little pollution, the sky is beautiful and I'm trying to take all this in before it's too late and the sand storms begin. Last week I had exams, and while I haven't heard about the grades quite yet, I felt like I did pretty well. Other than that, I've just been relaxing and doing a lot of reading. I've started a new blog actually http://realistguidetolife.blogspot.com/ . You'll notice I haven't posted anything on it yet because I haven't really decided what I want it to be. I think it will just be a compilation of interesting news articles and my thoughts on them as I like to think millions of people might actually care what I have to say!

Anyway, moving on to some more interesting information. I'd like to start by discussing something that surely all of you have heard about but the details of which most people are unclear. The One-Child Policy. It's still very much alive in China and the repercussions are only now beginning to be noticed by the government as they attempt to scale it back as much as possible. Currently, the One-Child Policy only applies (on the books) to individuals who are Han Chinese and are not only children. If you are a minority ethnicity in China you are allowed to have more than one child but usually not more than two depending on your locale. If you and your wife are both only children, you are allowed to have two children and if you live in a village you are allowed to have two children and a third if the first two are girls. This is a very basic breakdown and it is much different in different parts of the country. Why am I telling you about this? Because I've been asking a lot of people in Beijing their thoughts on the One-Child Policy just to get a feel for the trend. Surprisingly, about 50% of the people I talk to are totally in support of the One-Child Policy. I often hear responses such as "I know people should be able to decide how many children they have but we have too many people in China and there is no other way." This might be the propaganda speaking or maybe the day-by-day misery of sitting in traffic for hours.

However, there is also a huge amount of people that object to the policy on the grounds of freedom. I learned from a friend last week that Beijing University professors, even if they meet the requirements to have two children, are threatened with losing their job if they give birth to a second child. While stories of this are common, to actually know these professors and hear it from their mouths makes it so much more real. There have been stories of female professors or even employees working for the university being given ultimatums of having an abortion or keeping their job. I think this is really hard for most of us to fathom given that we live in America and this is probably unheard of or if it isn't that's because you've seen someone taken to court for it.

The One-Child Policy is a very difficult subject to talk about in China. The Country certainly has a population problem that they need to focus on. As more and more people are learning, the One-Child Policy is only leading to what might become larger problems in the long run. Currently, China has a surplus of 30 million men that will never have a chance to start a family. It's hard to believe but it's even more terrifying to think how those men might start to behave as they get older and are spurned from society because they can't find a wife.

The second thing I want to talk about is something that should be discussed now that Dad and Janie are done eating Chinese food for a while. It's called 地沟油 (di gou you) in Chinese and it literally means "sewage oil." That sounds pretty disgusting, but just take a look at the pictures in this news article written by a Chinese person and translated into English. Oh, and in case you want more reliable sources, check out this one from the New York Times.

Basically, 地沟油 is used cooking oil that is thrown down a drain of a large (usually more upscale) restaurant. As it slowly travels down the sewage system, some lovely entrepreneurs open the man hole and retrieve the used oil as it settles on top and usually gets stuck in their collecting devices. Once this SEWAGE is collected in large blue bins, it is then taken to one of  two places, a large factory (if you're lucky) where it is sorted and "recycled" or to someone's backyard where they filter it themselves. The worst part about this whole story is that the restaurants SELL the rights to their sewage to whoever bids the highest price for it. They are participating in this black market horror. This might be something that is easy to shrug off as a lie if it wasn't for one very important and horrifying proof that this really goes on around me. Every week, as I leave my hotel room to head for class, several times I will see a little white van parked behind the restaurant with an old man and an old woman and huge blue bins in the back of their car. I first shrugged it off as someone possibly cleaning the sewage. Then I heard about 地沟油. They certainly have long spoon-shaped devices and large buckets to collect the 地沟油 that leaves MY HOTEL! I promise, the next time I see them, I will provide picture evidence.

From the people I've talked to about it, everyone in China uses 地沟油 if the prices are low. This terrified me, given that I tend to eat food that costs less than 40 cents a meal. Street food? You bet. 地沟油 might just be the primary ingredient. Low estimates say that 10% of the oil used in China is 地沟油. My guess is that it's more along the lines of 50% considering that I've found very few places that serve expensive food and that the people I've talked to simply shrug off 地沟油 and explain that it's fine to eat. This leaves me with one of two options as I have about two months left in this country. The first--start eating at expensive upscale restaurants in Beijing that might take me an hour to get to by taxi. The second--lay back and enjoy my 地沟油 filled street foods and hope to God that if it's safe enough for the Chinese, it's safe enough for me.

Checking out, 地沟油 street food is calling my name. Sorry for the long blog!

Michael

For the Chinese aficionado check out this Chinese Wikipedia-like site to learn more about 地沟油. Unfortunately, our very own wikipedia doesn't seem to have an article on it.

UPDATE:

After sniping this poor picture (I'll work on getting better ones) I asked the people who work in the lobby of our dorm why the same couple came every other day and opened the sewage drain. I asked if they were coming to collect 地沟油 so they can sell it to other people on the street and the answer was straightforward and surprising, he said "Yes, that's what they are doing. That's the way China is." Anyhow, for the time being, please enjoy the disgusting picture.

Let me explain what is going on here. Directly in front of the van is the kitchen for our upscale hotel restaurant. This man and his wife come every other day to collect the sewage that runs off from the kitchen. The "ladle" resting on the van is used to sift through the food that is floating in order to collect only the finest quality cooking oil. The blue bins in the back of his van are filled to the brim with used oil that we can be sure is not properly cleansed before being resold on the street. Next time someone tells you that food you're eating from Panda Express isn't "Chinese" enough, look them dead in the eyes and say, "Thank God it isn't!"

A Collage

In order to make up for the several blogs I've posted without any pictures, I decided to dedicate this blog solely to pictures. There will be about 15 pictures in total with a caption on each to make for some interesting stories. If you have questions about any of the pictures, please feel free to ask and I will explain in more detail. 

ENJOY!

Every weekend we never fail to stop by the Southwest gate of Beijing University's campus for the best 串儿 (chuan - kebabs) in town. In this picture you can see the guy who looks like a boss, IS the boss. The girls are from Japan and they were here studying for one month. Boston is actually from Korea, his name is Steve and he lives on my floor.  

A lot of people with cake on their faces. This picture was taken on Nozomi's birthday after we went out for sushi. She turned 20, which apparently is a big deal in Japan, so we celebrated in style with a huge cake and a food fight to follow. Nobody was spared.  

You're probably thinking "Who's that really hansome guy?"  Okay, probably not. But the reason I took this picture right before my haircut was because I'm starting to come to terms with what my brother has been telling me the past 22 years of my life. I'm going to go bald, sooner or later, most likely sooner. I took this picture because I'm at the point where I think I might not have that much hair on my head ever again.  

This is a wonderfully ironic picture. Dad in the foreground saluting Mao (in the background) while wearing a Red Guard winter hat. The good news is he had a great time while in Beijing with Janie, the bad news is, he might not ever be allowed to return after this picture...  

Ignore me, I primarily posted this picture to show two things: First, the pollution on a bad winter day, second, Beijing University's campus. It's a really pretty campus when you can see more than 300 yards. I shouldn't complain too much, the past few weeks have been amazing. The weather has been between 40 and 60 and the sky has been blue for quite a few days now! 

Take it back one month to my birthday. These next few pictures belong with the blog about my wonderful birthday night. This is a picture of us at Hou Hai on my birthday stopping on the barely frozen lake for a quick and safe picture.  

My best guess is that this is saline solution and some other important little bottle of medicine. I don't really know because I didn't read. I was too busy running up and down the halls trying to find where to buy the medicine that presumably saved my friend's life. Thank God for spoken Chinese.  

This is what an emergency room looks like in Beijing at about 2 am. There were about 15 other people laying out in the hallway on the beds that are more easily observed in the following picture.  

Face blurred for confidentiality reasons. This individual had a very rough night. It's a blessing he is still alive today and it surely made for a lot of memories on what could have been a much worse birthday. Kindly take note of the missing shoe. I advise you to enlarge this picture and laugh for a few minutes before moving on.  

As I mentioned before, Beijing University has a feline rescue program where they just bring stray cats from all over the city to their campus and let them run wild and feed them. This is one of those cats. She/He sits in front of our dorm every morning meowing waiting for the cleaners to feed her. Her eyes are pretty awesome!  

My first experience with snake. I know this is cliche, but it really does taste like chicken... or fish.  

The Great Wall. I tried to take this picture to make me look like I was on the edge of the world and about to fall, but it didn't really come across that way. Probably because my face is a horrible mix of falsified fear and laughter. Anyway, the ground is about 12 feet below, I was in no danger. I'm sure you already guessed that though.  

This picture was taken with someone who I do not know. We both happened to buy these wacky glasses at the Summer Palace and saw each other. I helped her put it together and she was very grateful--so grateful she let me take a picture with her. 

We stumbled across the North Korean Embassy after eating dinner. I tried to take a picture of the front sign but the guard was defiant. These pictures really represented the beautiful side of North Korea. They almost make you want to visit the place and set up shop. 

Janie, Dad, and I at Asia's largest screen (seen above our head). You can probably only see 1/5 of the entire thing in this picture. It was massive.  

Janie and Dad were blessed with incredible weather while they were here. In the 5 times I've been to the Great Wall, I've never seen such a beautiful sky as a backdrop. 

It was her 20th birthday. One of the cutest girls I've ever seen. Too bad she speaks no english and just started studying Chinese! 

Thanks for tuning in. Pictures courtesy of John Wurth who helped me come by a camera! 

Well, At Least I'm not a Journalist

I'm sure many of you have heard about the protests going on around the world and the crazy revolutions that have pretty much taken over the Middle East, but... You probably haven't heard about the so called "Jasmine Revolution" that is kindling in China. As of right now, there's nothing very newsworthy to be blogging about but I thought I would share some things I've read and some things I've seen since I have been here that strike me as interesting.

Click Here for More Information

I realize that I probably shouldn't be writing about this on my blog, considering some foreign reporters have had their faces beat in for tracking this issue, but I figured it would just make things even more interesting if something like that happened to me right? Ok, maybe not so fun while it was happening but definitely a story for the grand kids.

This past Sunday, Gabe and I took a trip to Tiananmen Square and Wangfujing with no prior knowledge of the allegedly planned protests. (Please read the article above for more information on these places). When we first arrive at Tiananmen we took a detour to check out the shops to the left of the Forbidden City. As I was waiting for Gabe outside the shop, I noticed people running around and cops coming from all directions. First thing I thought was, "Time to make my peace with God." But then I realized that their attention was on the moat that surrounds the entrance of the Forbidden City. Apparently a woman had jumped into the moat on her own will, perhaps as a sign of defiance, and was swimming around as several people attempted to lower a ladder and drag her out. While this was happening, hoards of police and undercover police started pushing all the people back and putting up caution tape. Because I was a foreigner, I just pretended I didn't understand Chinese and was waiting for my friend who was in the store. At this point, I saw two police officers dragging the woman out of the moat and dropping her, sobbing, on the ground. Once this happened, the police car backed into the cordoned of section and she was loaded into the car. Where was she taken? Why did she do it? I have no idea.

But, as we continued walking around the Forbidden City and Tiananmen, we started noticing how many police officers there were and more importantly how many "civilians" were wearing wires and headphones. When we arrive in Wangfujing, mentioned in the article, we were there right around 2:30 pm when this meeting was supposed to occur. Of course, we didn't know about it so weren't exactly on watch for interesting things but we did see the "construction zone" that hadn't been there the week before. I actually asked a police officer why there were so many police and he didn't respond to my question. In hindsight, having known what was happening, I probably wouldn't have asked that question.

Anyway, the day was pretty much uneventful other than that. Shortly after, I went to Church and met a priest who actually studied at seminary in the United States. He's a really nice guy and invited us to participate in their youth group so we could improve our Chinese. All is well in the Middle Kingdom, if anything interesting catches my eye, I'll be sure to convey it as quickly as possible!

Michael

News Article Courtesy of Rachel Will!

Dining Madness

As a tribute to my dedicated readers, all 5 of them, I have decided a better way to get more information across to everyone would be to write shorter stories on my blog but much more frequently. The last two were quite long so this will be my attempt at shortening my blogs. 

I couldn't decide whether to call this blog post Dining Madness or Operation Empty Stomach as a reference to a war zone. I experienced something today that can honestly not be explained in words nor completely illustrated with video or pictures but here I will try to do my best. 

Beijing University, as one student told me, is the best University in China and therefore we must have the best dining halls in China as well. This might be true. With close to 20 dining calls feeding more than 40,000 students, there is an unrivaled variety to choose from when eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner. With that said, the math just doesn't add up--as I learned today. 

Let us break this down. With over 40,000 students living on or around campus and arguably 90% of them eating in university dining halls, the university must feed 36,000 students every day. Meaning, at any given meal time there are an average of 1,800 students at each dining hall trying to get their fill. Furthermore, the class schedules at Beida leave the time period from noon to 1 pm open for every student and professor. During this one hour period, it literally becomes a war zone at any given dining hall with lines longer than football fields and empty chairs becoming a commodity as students earn their pay saving seats and selling them on the black market. 

As I walked out of my last class of the day exactly at noon, my friends and I decided to try out the largest dining hall on campus. Two stories tall and seating at least 3,000 students at any given time, it was not the best idea I've had since being on this trip. When we entered the dining hall it was utter chaos. People shoving, eating, falling, screaming, cursing, and studying--all while trying to get in a line that may or may not have what you desire to eat. I chose what turned out to be the shortest line and it took me only 15 minutes to get my food. I thought the worst part was over. Then I remembered I, like most people, enjoy eating with friends while sitting down. Both of which are considered normal in America are more likely to be compared to luxuries such as driving a Ferrari or eating dinner at Ruth's Chris. After walking around for more than 20 minutes, I finally figured out the system. As soon as you see someone finishing their food, you have to stand right behind them until they get up and pounce on the chair like a cat on a mouse. I found a chair, albeit at a table with 5 people I had never seen in my life. 

Eating wasn't bad until I got close to finishing my plates. Then I realized enjoying a meal is also not something that is allowed. As a courtesy, every student is expected to eat their entire plate as fast as possible to allow the person or people standing directly over your shoulder to indulge in their meals as well. 

As I walked out of the dining hall I was relieved to have finished that experience unscathed and having learned some valuable lessons. I can only hope for the future to find some way of participating in mealtime in a way that doesn't include the possibility of death. 

Bye for Now,

Michael

One Week Down, Fourteen to Go!

The title of this post really doesn’t fit my true feelings. I’m loving my time here this semester so far. Everything really seems to be falling in place and I already feel my Chinese is improving quickly. I’ve met some really great friends here already and continue to meet some really great people. There’s about 5 people on my floor alone who I get along with quite well and it’s pretty exciting to be surrounded by good people who I can honestly trust. I’m going to try and hit each important subject one by one in the following paragraphs. By important, I mean topics that someone like my mother and father would really care about, maybe not the most interesting facets of my life here in China, but definitely important.

Dorms:

The dorms are conveniently located on the West side of campus near a gate that pretty much sells street food 24/7. We don’t have a dryer in our dorms but we have washers which led me to quickly seek out the closest dry cleaning service on campus which costs a whopping 20 kuai per load. Within 5 minutes walking we pretty much can reach 15 different restaurants on campus that range from 2 to 10 kuai per meal. Our dorms are pretty clean, I can’t complain. The bed, well, it’s hard as a rock but I seem to be sleeping fine. Maybe I’m used to it now!

School:

The third day we were here we took a placement test and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I didn’t excel, but I did better than I thought I would considering I haven’t studied or practiced my Chinese in 3 months. I was placed in intermediate high level but decided to jump up to the highest level in intermediate for spoken language and written. My tutor insists I should be in advanced low for spoken but I feel comfortable with this class, the teacher is awesome. Her name is Professor Wang and she was my USC teacher’s roommate at Beijing University for their undergrad—I guess it’s even a small world in China!

Every week I have about 23 hours of class, it’s a little overwhelming but definitely good for my Chinese. I don’t have class on Friday, which is pretty nice and convenient for traveling if I choose to. All my teachers are great, they seem to be really friendly and very atypical for China in the sense that they are open to talk about anything that is brought up with little reservation. Everyone in my program is assigned a graduate student in language studies as a tutor. From what I’ve heard from other people, I feel pretty lucky that mine doesn’t speak English and expresses little desire to learn it. She’s very good at teaching and helped me a lot with my homework last week. We are supposed to meet about 3 hours a week with our tutors and I’m hoping I can sneak in a few more hours since she’s so helpful. I was discussing the Communist Party with her and different aspects of it and she kind of blindsided me when she told me that she was a member! She said that many college students at Beijing University and Qinghua get recruited because they’re all the top of their age group in their respective subject matters. I kind of decided I should probably avoid all topics concerning Chinese politics or politics in general.

Church:

The first week we were here we had a group of about 8 people go to mass which was pretty nice. It’s on the other side of town but the subway stops right in front of it and it’s an English mass. I was able to go to confession John! And I didn’t need to use my phone app to help me with that haha. The priest is great, I’m pretty sure he studied in the United States because I spoke to him a bit after and his English is phenomenal. We are getting ready to head back to mass today with another big group of people so it seems like it will become a habit!

Miscellaneous:

Gabe, my good friend Steve, and I went to the Great Wall yesterday by public bus. It is over 70 km away from our school and it cost us 8 kuai round trip. It took about an hour and a half to get there and it was a perfect day to go because it snowed the previous night and very few people were there, not to mention it was beautiful. I still haven’t figured out how to upload my pictures since my iPhoto app is messed up on my computer, but I’m sure my brother will help me quickly resolve this… mhmmm.

We went to dinner with a diplomat I met one of the first nights we were here and he invited us to a beautiful restaurant in the center of a park. It’s in the Russian district of Beijing so it was very Western but the food was authentic Chinese and arguably the best I have had since I’ve been here. He was the diplomat for Singapore for 4 years before becoming a diplomat in Japan for the Chinese government for 7 years. His English is extremely fluent and he is a very nice guy. He paid for the dinner against my will and invited us to dinner at his favorite sushi place next weekend. I also was able to see Dr. Lu again this past weekend and he brought a few of us to dinner and introduced us to some really nice people as always. He should be coming back here when Dad and Janie come visit but I’m not sure about the dates.

I can’t think of much else to write about yet. The food is excellent as always and we’ve been having a lot of responsible fun just hanging out and meeting up with old friends from years past.

If you have any questions, post them on the comments section and I’ll be sure to answer them. I’ll try and get pictures as soon as possible. Hope everyone’s doing great, life in China isn’t bad but I miss you all!

再见！

小龙

祝我生日快乐!

Upon arrival at the airport Gabe and I quickly learned the perks of being “laowai” (foreigners) in a country predominantly one race. What initially struck him as terrifying, he soon learned brought about many benefits. The bus ride from the airport to the hotel gave me a chance to meet several of the students from across the United States that are also participating in the program. I think I’m very fortunate thus far, everyone in the group is extremely friendly and we seem to all be getting along well. It is the first week of course.

Well, Beijing University has its perks. With more than 40,000 of China’s brightest students, it certainly can be a bit overwhelming. When I first arrived on campus it was empty, class wouldn’t start for another week. Yesterday, students flooded the campus with parents, luggage, and enough bicycles to make the start of the Tour de France look like child’s play. All is well at school.

Dorms—well let’s just say they aren’t five-star but they are suitable and have all amenities needed, except a refrigerator, which would be fantastic. My milk is hanging out the window by a string which leads me to the point of this place is way too damn cold. After learning my lesson in 2008, I cautiously approached my bed rather than jumping on it and breaking my arm. It’s hard. Really hard. Fortunately for me, I’ll be able to sleep anywhere after these four months are up. Gabe was able to check in to the dorm/hotel with us and is living two doors down from me for the time being. It’s quite convenient. My roommate, Daniel, is a great guy; we have a lot in common—the most important being he’s Catholic. He attends Notre Dame, I’m trying not to hold that against him, and he’s from New Jersey.

Of course the day after I got here, as many of you should know, was my birthday. It was one heck of a birthday. We had about 15 people come out to dinner which was a pleasant surprise considering I just met them all. I brought them to one of my favorite restaurants in Hou Hai (后海). It’s a beautiful place with a lake in the middle now more like a huge ice rink. After getting the party started with 白酒 (bai jiu = Chinese sake), we went to a bar where I know the manager and she gave us a few free bottles of vodka and other stuff. Of course, I had a few drinks but I was fine. There was however, one friend who couldn’t handle the 白酒 quite as well as the rest of us. After leaving the bar and exploring the frozen lake, which was probably not the safest thing to be doing, we began to realize that one of us was missing. This person will go unnamed, but let’s just say he was nowhere to be found. Hou Hai has bars surrounding the entire lake; initially our idea was to leave the bar and go to a club to dance and hang out. Well the bar and the club were on opposite sides of the lake, walking around would have taken close to 30 minutes, crossing the ice, 5 minutes. No, this person didn’t fall through, but once we got to the other side of the lake, we had to retrace our steps where we found said unnamed person hunched over in a dark alley spewing wildly in all directions. Most of us were terrified, mostly because we couldn’t believe any single human being could have so much matter in a stomach that could be projectile vomited. After realizing unnamed jackass couldn’t walk more than two feet without face planting in his own vomit, it was over my shoulder they went vomiting down my back as we ran to a taxi.

Now this is where it gets really good. I should remind my audience it is my birthday and I am the one caring for said individual. Once this person couldn’t stand or mutter more than “uhhhhh,” I realized that my first experience in a Chinese hospital was imminent. How were we going to get him there? We stopped about five taxis and as soon as they saw what was left of this human being that was wasting away and they realized the chances of him soiling their car in any form was extremely high, they would speed away. That is until I offered a cab driver 300 kuai to save this persons life and drive us 10 minutes away. Friendly reminder, it’s still my birthday at this point.

Arriving at the nearest emergency room was an experience in itself. With three new friends helping me carry drunken rag doll, our bonds were formed for life. After the doctor greeted us with a chuckle, I explained to him, in Chinese, that our friend drank what seemed to be more than required for a slight buzz. The doctor had us toss him on a rolling bed as he continued to spew in all directions soiling his and everyone else’s clothes.

Of course, when entering a Chinese hospital, you must pay a fee before the doctor will look at the patient. The fee is 6 kuai, that’s about $1. They have their priorities straight. After paying the required pence, the doctor then asked me what was wrong with my friend if it wasn’t clear enough. I explained in my best Chinese that my friend drank too much and we were definitely worried that he had alcohol poisoning. He sent me with a prescription to another line around the corner where I paid 20 kuai to get the prescription and another 600 kuai for the actual medicine. It’s still my birthday. Meanwhile, unnamed friend’s face is now completely covered in vomit and moaning as if he is experiencing childbirth.

I finally get back to the bedside and ask the doctor to please put the IV in as fast as he can. Now this tells you how much I fear the coming three months, I actually asked the doctor if he would show me how to put an IV in so if this happened in the future I could act as a corpsman until we reached friendly territory. After he said I could watch but shouldn’t try it on my own, the IV was in and the four of us who were sober felt a huge weight lifted off our soldier. Soon after, the three guys that I hadn’t really met until that night decided it would the right time to leave since the hospital was pretty cold and it was 1 am. I sincerely appreciated their help. For the next three hours, I didn’t have a chair and my jacket was pretty much used to keep the victim from experiencing hypothermia. You’re probably wondering if I have pictures of this wonderful event—the answer is a huge YES. However, without proper editing, some of them may be inappropriate for my average reader and may give the identity of this individual away. With time, they will come.

After about an hour of chatting with the 24 YEAR-OLD DOCTOR! (who, by the way, is far too young to be responsible for anyone’s life) I decided I should probably ask the doctor if he could get me a chair. Not without one more incident that I can honestly say has scarred me for life. Unnamed victim, lying on the hospital bed in the middle of the hall which is filled with upwards of 30 other groups of people, begins screaming/moaning; I don’t even know what to call it. So I responded, “Are you ok? What’s wrong?” He replied, “I have to pee, really really bad!!!! Help!” He continued, “It hurts so bad! I have to pee!”

Interjection: What on earth does one do at this point? I’m about a 5-minute sober walk from the bathroom. He clearly still is nowhere near coherency. He’s screaming in pain because his bladder has filled far beyond capacity to what I imagine looks something like a yellow balloon that is about to explode with the slightest pressure added. And guess who comes to the rescue? 24 year-old doctor with what looks to me like a blue milk carton with an oversized mouth. “What am I supposed to do with this?” I asked in Chinese. You know when you ask a question and right after it comes out of your mouth every part of you wishes you could take it back and just erase the last 10 seconds? That’s what happened. Before I knew it, I was performing a procedure I truly believed I would never, and I mean NEVER, have to perform. Between my utter disgust, unnamed belligerent’s moaning satisfaction, the doctor’s smirk, and the nurse’s near fainting at the unintentional sighting of what was happening I was truly overwhelmed by the situation and began to laugh at the complete ridiculousness of what was ensuing.

It wasn’t long after this seemingly long process that I realized I started to feel uneasy in the stomach. Was it the fact that I had just crossed a line that might be considered illegal in Saudi Arabia or the fact that the entire situation had just emotionally drained me? I don’t know, but I quickly found myself outside the hospital up-chucking in the nearest bush as I regained my senses. Many of you might think it was the result of drinking. You would be wrong. I hadn’t had a drink for more than 3 hours at this point and throughout the entire night I had about 4 drinks, total. Presumably about 10 percent of what my drunken colleague must have had to reach this point.

After returning to the bedside and being unable to look anyone in the eye, especially the tormented nurse, I quickly began to seek means of getting out of this predicament as quickly as possible. I begged the doctor to make the IV move faster. As we were speaking, the body on the bed moved and laid on top of the IV. Assuming it was ok, we continued our conversation. As I’m speaking, I caught a glimpse of something red. When I looked down to investigate, I realized that blood was quickly leaking from this individual and coalescing on the floor and the bed completely soaking unnamed individual’s clothing and bed lining. Not realizing it was just a matter of the needle being displaced, I jumped in to panic mode. Would my friend die like this? Lying in a bottom of the barrel hospital after surviving alcohol poisoning? It couldn’t be. The doctor didn’t look so worried, he just called for the nurse who couldn’t believe she actually had to approach us, and she saved the day by replacing something on the contraption. My friend had been saved—yet again.

I continued the prodding and the doctor said he would try to make it faster. After he squeezed the bag several times, which may or may not be medically accepted, I realized it was futile. I was going to be sitting there for a while. Picture the situation at hand and it will quickly make you realize the ridiculousness of the entire night. Two somewhat Anglo-Saxon Americans sitting in the halls of a Beijing University hospital with a birthday boy using his limited Chinese to save the life of a friend in need. I felt an urge to tell the doctor we were Canadian as I drifted in and out of consciousness.

After falling asleep for about ten minutes, the doctor woke me up with a jolt; I think I was in combat sleep mode by this point. I jumped up expecting anything. Luckily this particular instance, it was just to inform me that the IV was empty, finally. While ripping off the tape holding down the IV, the nurse proceeded with extreme caution as if she was worried about pulling the hair from his hand and causing him pain. I laughed at the irony. A part of me wished she would make it as painful as possible. Apparently, drunken idiot was sober at this point; considering he had just been filled with close to 2000 milliliters I wasn’t entirely surprised. He woke with a jolt because the tape hurt. “Owwwwww!” Ten second pause. “Why am I in a hospital?” I didn’t know where to begin. Instead, I just told him to get up and let’s get the heck out of here. After thanking the doctor profusely, we strolled out the front door, both somewhat covered in vomit, looking like two battle-hardened vets. As we waited for thirty minutes in the 10 degree weather outside, he explained how he woke up and saw a white coat and he had just been dreaming he was laying in bed at home having the best sleep of his life and having not remembered the misery of the past 5 hours. For a second I kind of wished the tables had been turned.

As luck would have it, said friend woke up with absolutely nothing resembling a hangover. I, on the other hand, felt terrible because I was only able to sleep for about 4 hours. As I write this story, I’m sitting in a coffee shop laughing. While this story may make for a great blog post, I fully resolve to not relive it. Needless to say, my birthday prior to my first trip to the hospital was a great one. I’ve met a lot of really great people that I can see myself becoming really close to over the coming months. Many of them are from Notre Dame, which means as fans we are rivals but as Catholics we get along well.

I hope everyone enjoyed this blog. I can’t promise to make them this entertaining every time I write and to a degree I hope they aren’t this entertaining. If anyone has any questions about what’s going on just leave one in the comments section. Also, I’ll be posting another blog about school in the next couple days.

I’ll leave you with two words of advice today. First, when taking care of belligerent friends, always be well prepared for issues concerning digestive system so as not to blindside you and leave you scarred for life. Second, avoid hospitals at all cost if you yourself are the patient to be. If you’re not, make them readily accessible as we left the hospital having spent close to 1,000 kuai for 5 hours in the hospital. That’s about the equivalent of $175. I couldn’t purchase a Playstation for that price!!!!!

Cheers. 

A Great Start to A Long Haul

2.1 decades ago the world was graced with a birth rivaling that of the Great Caesar and according to many, surpassing that of Mr. Lincoln himself; while few have heard his name, all have benefited from his time on earth in some way or another. Like all great men, AJ Bayus has much to his resume—from single-handedly negotiating peace accords with the barbarian tribes of the Amazon, to saving thousands of oil-soaked seals and dolphins in the Gulf Coast during last years disaster. It was just twenty-one years and nine months ago to the day when Robin and Tony Bayus made what turned out to be the most profitable mistake of their lives.

For this unprecedented celebration in AJ’s life, I was blessed to be a part of his first two beers, shot of tequila, and shot of whiskey. Unfortunately, AJ goes to school at the University of Hawaii where he swings a bat for a living while bringing hordes of women to their knees with a quick flash of his furry chest. What this meant for me was that in order to celebrate his day of birth, I was forced to travel to Hawaii where I couldn’t leave the apartment wearing more than a bathing suit and flip-flops. It was torture. It’s hard visiting a place where the temperature varies from 75 to 85 every day during the summer, but I was a trooper and I put up with it.

Following AJ’s first few drinks, my time spent on the island consisted of eating, surfing, scuba diving WWII wrecks and fun things like learning how to pick up a car after it has been towed for illegal parking. Yea, that happened. Overall, my time spent in Oahu with AJ couldn’t have been any better. It was a great way to start my four months abroad with great people and even better weather. Thank you AJ.

Then reality hit me. I would be spending 120 days of my life living in what could be the most polluted city in the world where temperatures range from 10-40 degrees Farenheit. But before the misery began, I had one last glimpse of sunlight when one of my wonderful sisters, Janie, met me at the Seattle airport during my layover to bring Gabe and I what could be my last American lunch for a very long time. (Sidenote: Gabriel Garcia is in China with me. He will be here for the first two weeks.) After our great layover, we jumped on Hainan Airlines flight 496 for eleven and a half hours of pure misery. I’ve never experienced seats on an airplane that make you wish you were being burnt alive—a little bit of an exaggeration, I know. But seriously, they were that bad. I slept maybe 2 hours, if you call it sleep, and read the rest of the time while I complained to Gabe about my lower back.

When we arrived and picked up our luggage, it was off to Beijing University. Everyone in the program seems really nice and I’m enjoying getting to know them all. My roommate is awesome, he’s a great guy who goes to Notre Dame and happens to be Catholic (my new Church buddy). Gabe was able to rent a room in the dorm hotel three doors down from me so it worked out great. Not much has transpired other than what I’ve given above but I’ll be sure to check in regularly. Hope everyone at home is great, thanks for all the birthday wishes, I miss you all!

Michael