Short: Beware of Moto-Taxies

I just wanted to post a warning to some and an opportunity to others.

If there's one thing that can get really frustrating in China, it's the absence of taxies when you need them most. Supply and Demand for taxies is never at an equilibrium. In the morning it isn't a rare sight to see one person hail a cab and have 5 taxies lined up ready. During rush hour, or even worse--rush hour when it's raining--you might as well not even try. There has been several times where I have waited more than an hour to drive 20 minutes.

Today was no different. Rush hour, about 4 pm, and I needed to get to the outdoor market to purchase a suit. I waited outside the university campus for about an hour before giving up. Just as I was about to walk away, something pulled up in my periphery. At first, I thought it was a motorcycle that I had walked in front of and nearly killed myself--I wish that were the case.

I came to find out after he asked me where I needed to go that he was what they call in a China a moto-taxi. Simple idea, seemingly effective. Someone who owns a motorcycle and wants to make a few extra bucks every day drives around town illegally picking up civilians who need to go places more quickly for a slightly steeper price.

I jumped on.

I told him where to head and what ensued was perhaps one of the most adrenaline-inducing rides of my life--slightly short of epinephrine. He drove that motorcycle like King Kong was giving chase. Fast is an understatement; graceful is quite generous. If we didn't come within one inch of at least 30 cars and perhaps 1,000 people then I was dreaming. Red lights? They only apply to vehicles with 4 wheels with passengers that care about survival. We were on a mission. Dodging moving vehicles and not stopping to run red lights were just some of the highlights. Tack on a few screams from little old ladies crossing the street and what seemed like endless honking and you still only get about 10% of the picture. We weaved through people, passed cars without a hint of concern and changed lanes as though we were driving through the deserted area of Chernobyl.

I caught myself laughing. Not to myself like I should have been but literally out loud. The idea that my life could end on the back of a 20 year old motorcycle with the driver wearing a helmet and the skin of my bald head chilled in the wind, I couldn't think of anything else to do but hold on and stare up at the sky laughing out loud. After the initial 10 minutes of absolute fear, the final 10 minutes consisted of me realizing how truly amazing this experience was. For the first time in Hefei, I felt like I was doing something adventurous and exciting. I saw the entire city and was able to feel the rush of ice-climbing, dirt bike riding and everything else in between in the middle of downtown Hefei.

To top off the ride, we exited the street and again began playing frogger along the sidewalk of frenzied people. During this exercise, my driver managed to only run in to one woman--impressive. He drove up next to a carnival-like game with a child holding a gun. The object of the game is to pop balloons with the darts. Unlike America, this game had a real dart gun aimed at a 4'x4' box with about 40 small balloons jammed inside and holding the loaded gun was a 3 year old. Like clockwork, as soon as we came up behind the little red box two things happened simultaneously--he fired the gun and missed the box and my driver almost dropped the bike out of fear as we swerved meaningfully away. It almost seemed too good to be true.

Dangerous... maybe. Exhilarating... absolutely. After being dropped off and being charged a full 10 yuan more than he initially requested (I didn't care, the ride was incredible!) I wobbled off on light feet towards the outdoor mall. After running into a duo of dancing monkeys and do-nothing caged rabbits I ended up not buying a suit and catching a safe taxi back home.

Thus concludes my experience aboard China's most exhilarating transportation services. I assure you there will be more to come. Next time I'm feeling bored, fun is just a 5 minute walk away.

Michael

*No humans or animals were harmed in the course of this event. Many came close to being harmed and some came close to dying but with the help of God, all walked away. I can not verify, however, the ethical treatment of the dancing monkeys nor the caged rabbits.

Unfortunately, I didn't bring my camera and have no pictures. This won't happen again.