Michael's Experiences

Unsettling Facts

2011-04-03T20:02:00.000-07:00

Loyal Followers,

There hasn't been much excitement here in China since Dad and Janie left so I haven't felt the need to post a blog. However, I know my Mom and Dad are dying to read something written by me so I felt the need to come up with something relevant to my time in China but also interesting enough to post on here since they aren't the only ones who read it.

I'll begin with an update on life. It has been getting much warmer lately in Beijing. Yesterday it was about 70 outside and I even went and laid in the university park to get some sun while reading. The forecast for the next 5 days looks similar. Surprisingly, there has also been very little pollution, the sky is beautiful and I'm trying to take all this in before it's too late and the sand storms begin. Last week I had exams, and while I haven't heard about the grades quite yet, I felt like I did pretty well. Other than that, I've just been relaxing and doing a lot of reading. I've started a new blog actually http://realistguidetolife.blogspot.com/ . You'll notice I haven't posted anything on it yet because I haven't really decided what I want it to be. I think it will just be a compilation of interesting news articles and my thoughts on them as I like to think millions of people might actually care what I have to say!

Anyway, moving on to some more interesting information. I'd like to start by discussing something that surely all of you have heard about but the details of which most people are unclear. The One-Child Policy. It's still very much alive in China and the repercussions are only now beginning to be noticed by the government as they attempt to scale it back as much as possible. Currently, the One-Child Policy only applies (on the books) to individuals who are Han Chinese and are not only children. If you are a minority ethnicity in China you are allowed to have more than one child but usually not more than two depending on your locale. If you and your wife are both only children, you are allowed to have two children and if you live in a village you are allowed to have two children and a third if the first two are girls. This is a very basic breakdown and it is much different in different parts of the country. Why am I telling you about this? Because I've been asking a lot of people in Beijing their thoughts on the One-Child Policy just to get a feel for the trend. Surprisingly, about 50% of the people I talk to are totally in support of the One-Child Policy. I often hear responses such as "I know people should be able to decide how many children they have but we have too many people in China and there is no other way." This might be the propaganda speaking or maybe the day-by-day misery of sitting in traffic for hours.

However, there is also a huge amount of people that object to the policy on the grounds of freedom. I learned from a friend last week that Beijing University professors, even if they meet the requirements to have two children, are threatened with losing their job if they give birth to a second child. While stories of this are common, to actually know these professors and hear it from their mouths makes it so much more real. There have been stories of female professors or even employees working for the university being given ultimatums of having an abortion or keeping their job. I think this is really hard for most of us to fathom given that we live in America and this is probably unheard of or if it isn't that's because you've seen someone taken to court for it.

The One-Child Policy is a very difficult subject to talk about in China. The Country certainly has a population problem that they need to focus on. As more and more people are learning, the One-Child Policy is only leading to what might become larger problems in the long run. Currently, China has a surplus of 30 million men that will never have a chance to start a family. It's hard to believe but it's even more terrifying to think how those men might start to behave as they get older and are spurned from society because they can't find a wife.

The second thing I want to talk about is something that should be discussed now that Dad and Janie are done eating Chinese food for a while. It's called 地沟油 (di gou you) in Chinese and it literally means "sewage oil." That sounds pretty disgusting, but just take a look at the pictures in this news article written by a Chinese person and translated into English. Oh, and in case you want more reliable sources, check out this one from the New York Times.

Basically, 地沟油 is used cooking oil that is thrown down a drain of a large (usually more upscale) restaurant. As it slowly travels down the sewage system, some lovely entrepreneurs open the man hole and retrieve the used oil as it settles on top and usually gets stuck in their collecting devices. Once this SEWAGE is collected in large blue bins, it is then taken to one of two places, a large factory (if you're lucky) where it is sorted and "recycled" or to someone's backyard where they filter it themselves. The worst part about this whole story is that the restaurants SELL the rights to their sewage to whoever bids the highest price for it. They are participating in this black market horror. This might be something that is easy to shrug off as a lie if it wasn't for one very important and horrifying proof that this really goes on around me. Every week, as I leave my hotel room to head for class, several times I will see a little white van parked behind the restaurant with an old man and an old woman and huge blue bins in the back of their car. I first shrugged it off as someone possibly cleaning the sewage. Then I heard about 地沟油. They certainly have long spoon-shaped devices and large buckets to collect the 地沟油 that leaves MY HOTEL! I promise, the next time I see them, I will provide picture evidence.

From the people I've talked to about it, everyone in China uses 地沟油 if the prices are low. This terrified me, given that I tend to eat food that costs less than 40 cents a meal. Street food? You bet. 地沟油 might just be the primary ingredient. Low estimates say that 10% of the oil used in China is 地沟油. My guess is that it's more along the lines of 50% considering that I've found very few places that serve expensive food and that the people I've talked to simply shrug off 地沟油 and explain that it's fine to eat. This leaves me with one of two options as I have about two months left in this country. The first--start eating at expensive upscale restaurants in Beijing that might take me an hour to get to by taxi. The second--lay back and enjoy my 地沟油 filled street foods and hope to God that if it's safe enough for the Chinese, it's safe enough for me.

Checking out, 地沟油 street food is calling my name. Sorry for the long blog!

Michael

For the Chinese aficionado check out this Chinese Wikipedia-like site to learn more about 地沟油. Unfortunately, our very own wikipedia doesn't seem to have an article on it.

UPDATE:

After sniping this poor picture (I'll work on getting better ones) I asked the people who work in the lobby of our dorm why the same couple came every other day and opened the sewage drain. I asked if they were coming to collect 地沟油 so they can sell it to other people on the street and the answer was straightforward and surprising, he said "Yes, that's what they are doing. That's the way China is." Anyhow, for the time being, please enjoy the disgusting picture.

Let me explain what is going on here. Directly in front of the van is the kitchen for our upscale hotel restaurant. This man and his wife come every other day to collect the sewage that runs off from the kitchen. The "ladle" resting on the van is used to sift through the food that is floating in order to collect only the finest quality cooking oil. The blue bins in the back of his van are filled to the brim with used oil that we can be sure is not properly cleansed before being resold on the street. Next time someone tells you that food you're eating from Panda Express isn't "Chinese" enough, look them dead in the eyes and say, "Thank God it isn't!"

A Collage

2011-03-27T22:25:00.000-07:00

In order to make up for the several blogs I've posted without any pictures, I decided to dedicate this blog solely to pictures. There will be about 15 pictures in total with a caption on each to make for some interesting stories. If you have questions about any of the pictures, please feel free to ask and I will explain in more detail.

ENJOY!

Every weekend we never fail to stop by the Southwest gate of Beijing University's campus for the best 串儿 (chuan - kebabs) in town. In this picture you can see the guy who looks like a boss, IS the boss. The girls are from Japan and they were here studying for one month. Boston is actually from Korea, his name is Steve and he lives on my floor.

A lot of people with cake on their faces. This picture was taken on Nozomi's birthday after we went out for sushi. She turned 20, which apparently is a big deal in Japan, so we celebrated in style with a huge cake and a food fight to follow. Nobody was spared.

You're probably thinking "Who's that really hansome guy?" Okay, probably not. But the reason I took this picture right before my haircut was because I'm starting to come to terms with what my brother has been telling me the past 22 years of my life. I'm going to go bald, sooner or later, most likely sooner. I took this picture because I'm at the point where I think I might not have that much hair on my head ever again.

This is a wonderfully ironic picture. Dad in the foreground saluting Mao (in the background) while wearing a Red Guard winter hat. The good news is he had a great time while in Beijing with Janie, the bad news is, he might not ever be allowed to return after this picture...

Ignore me, I primarily posted this picture to show two things: First, the pollution on a bad winter day, second, Beijing University's campus. It's a really pretty campus when you can see more than 300 yards. I shouldn't complain too much, the past few weeks have been amazing. The weather has been between 40 and 60 and the sky has been blue for quite a few days now!

Take it back one month to my birthday. These next few pictures belong with the blog about my wonderful birthday night. This is a picture of us at Hou Hai on my birthday stopping on the barely frozen lake for a quick and safe picture.

My best guess is that this is saline solution and some other important little bottle of medicine. I don't really know because I didn't read. I was too busy running up and down the halls trying to find where to buy the medicine that presumably saved my friend's life. Thank God for spoken Chinese.

This is what an emergency room looks like in Beijing at about 2 am. There were about 15 other people laying out in the hallway on the beds that are more easily observed in the following picture.

Face blurred for confidentiality reasons. This individual had a very rough night. It's a blessing he is still alive today and it surely made for a lot of memories on what could have been a much worse birthday. Kindly take note of the missing shoe. I advise you to enlarge this picture and laugh for a few minutes before moving on.

As I mentioned before, Beijing University has a feline rescue program where they just bring stray cats from all over the city to their campus and let them run wild and feed them. This is one of those cats. She/He sits in front of our dorm every morning meowing waiting for the cleaners to feed her. Her eyes are pretty awesome!

My first experience with snake. I know this is cliche, but it really does taste like chicken... or fish.

The Great Wall. I tried to take this picture to make me look like I was on the edge of the world and about to fall, but it didn't really come across that way. Probably because my face is a horrible mix of falsified fear and laughter. Anyway, the ground is about 12 feet below, I was in no danger. I'm sure you already guessed that though.

This picture was taken with someone who I do not know. We both happened to buy these wacky glasses at the Summer Palace and saw each other. I helped her put it together and she was very grateful--so grateful she let me take a picture with her.

We stumbled across the North Korean Embassy after eating dinner. I tried to take a picture of the front sign but the guard was defiant. These pictures really represented the beautiful side of North Korea. They almost make you want to visit the place and set up shop.

Janie, Dad, and I at Asia's largest screen (seen above our head). You can probably only see 1/5 of the entire thing in this picture. It was massive.

Janie and Dad were blessed with incredible weather while they were here. In the 5 times I've been to the Great Wall, I've never seen such a beautiful sky as a backdrop.

It was her 20th birthday. One of the cutest girls I've ever seen. Too bad she speaks no english and just started studying Chinese!

Thanks for tuning in. Pictures courtesy of John Wurth who helped me come by a camera!

Well, At Least I'm not a Journalist

2011-03-07T05:00:00.000-08:00

I'm sure many of you have heard about the protests going on around the world and the crazy revolutions that have pretty much taken over the Middle East, but... You probably haven't heard about the so called "Jasmine Revolution" that is kindling in China. As of right now, there's nothing very newsworthy to be blogging about but I thought I would share some things I've read and some things I've seen since I have been here that strike me as interesting.

Click Here for More Information

I realize that I probably shouldn't be writing about this on my blog, considering some foreign reporters have had their faces beat in for tracking this issue, but I figured it would just make things even more interesting if something like that happened to me right? Ok, maybe not so fun while it was happening but definitely a story for the grand kids.

This past Sunday, Gabe and I took a trip to Tiananmen Square and Wangfujing with no prior knowledge of the allegedly planned protests. (Please read the article above for more information on these places). When we first arrive at Tiananmen we took a detour to check out the shops to the left of the Forbidden City. As I was waiting for Gabe outside the shop, I noticed people running around and cops coming from all directions. First thing I thought was, "Time to make my peace with God." But then I realized that their attention was on the moat that surrounds the entrance of the Forbidden City. Apparently a woman had jumped into the moat on her own will, perhaps as a sign of defiance, and was swimming around as several people attempted to lower a ladder and drag her out. While this was happening, hoards of police and undercover police started pushing all the people back and putting up caution tape. Because I was a foreigner, I just pretended I didn't understand Chinese and was waiting for my friend who was in the store. At this point, I saw two police officers dragging the woman out of the moat and dropping her, sobbing, on the ground. Once this happened, the police car backed into the cordoned of section and she was loaded into the car. Where was she taken? Why did she do it? I have no idea.

But, as we continued walking around the Forbidden City and Tiananmen, we started noticing how many police officers there were and more importantly how many "civilians" were wearing wires and headphones. When we arrive in Wangfujing, mentioned in the article, we were there right around 2:30 pm when this meeting was supposed to occur. Of course, we didn't know about it so weren't exactly on watch for interesting things but we did see the "construction zone" that hadn't been there the week before. I actually asked a police officer why there were so many police and he didn't respond to my question. In hindsight, having known what was happening, I probably wouldn't have asked that question.

Anyway, the day was pretty much uneventful other than that. Shortly after, I went to Church and met a priest who actually studied at seminary in the United States. He's a really nice guy and invited us to participate in their youth group so we could improve our Chinese. All is well in the Middle Kingdom, if anything interesting catches my eye, I'll be sure to convey it as quickly as possible!

Michael

News Article Courtesy of Rachel Will!

Dining Madness

2011-02-28T02:53:00.000-08:00

As a tribute to my dedicated readers, all 5 of them, I have decided a better way to get more information across to everyone would be to write shorter stories on my blog but much more frequently. The last two were quite long so this will be my attempt at shortening my blogs.

I couldn't decide whether to call this blog post Dining Madness or Operation Empty Stomach as a reference to a war zone. I experienced something today that can honestly not be explained in words nor completely illustrated with video or pictures but here I will try to do my best.

Beijing University, as one student told me, is the best University in China and therefore we must have the best dining halls in China as well. This might be true. With close to 20 dining calls feeding more than 40,000 students, there is an unrivaled variety to choose from when eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner. With that said, the math just doesn't add up--as I learned today.

Let us break this down. With over 40,000 students living on or around campus and arguably 90% of them eating in university dining halls, the university must feed 36,000 students every day. Meaning, at any given meal time there are an average of 1,800 students at each dining hall trying to get their fill. Furthermore, the class schedules at Beida leave the time period from noon to 1 pm open for every student and professor. During this one hour period, it literally becomes a war zone at any given dining hall with lines longer than football fields and empty chairs becoming a commodity as students earn their pay saving seats and selling them on the black market.

As I walked out of my last class of the day exactly at noon, my friends and I decided to try out the largest dining hall on campus. Two stories tall and seating at least 3,000 students at any given time, it was not the best idea I've had since being on this trip. When we entered the dining hall it was utter chaos. People shoving, eating, falling, screaming, cursing, and studying--all while trying to get in a line that may or may not have what you desire to eat. I chose what turned out to be the shortest line and it took me only 15 minutes to get my food. I thought the worst part was over. Then I remembered I, like most people, enjoy eating with friends while sitting down. Both of which are considered normal in America are more likely to be compared to luxuries such as driving a Ferrari or eating dinner at Ruth's Chris. After walking around for more than 20 minutes, I finally figured out the system. As soon as you see someone finishing their food, you have to stand right behind them until they get up and pounce on the chair like a cat on a mouse. I found a chair, albeit at a table with 5 people I had never seen in my life.

Eating wasn't bad until I got close to finishing my plates. Then I realized enjoying a meal is also not something that is allowed. As a courtesy, every student is expected to eat their entire plate as fast as possible to allow the person or people standing directly over your shoulder to indulge in their meals as well.

As I walked out of the dining hall I was relieved to have finished that experience unscathed and having learned some valuable lessons. I can only hope for the future to find some way of participating in mealtime in a way that doesn't include the possibility of death.

Bye for Now,

Michael

One Week Down, Fourteen to Go!

2011-02-27T04:07:00.001-08:00

The title of this post really doesn’t fit my true feelings. I’m loving my time here this semester so far. Everything really seems to be falling in place and I already feel my Chinese is improving quickly. I’ve met some really great friends here already and continue to meet some really great people. There’s about 5 people on my floor alone who I get along with quite well and it’s pretty exciting to be surrounded by good people who I can honestly trust. I’m going to try and hit each important subject one by one in the following paragraphs. By important, I mean topics that someone like my mother and father would really care about, maybe not the most interesting facets of my life here in China, but definitely important.

Dorms:

The dorms are conveniently located on the West side of campus near a gate that pretty much sells street food 24/7. We don’t have a dryer in our dorms but we have washers which led me to quickly seek out the closest dry cleaning service on campus which costs a whopping 20 kuai per load. Within 5 minutes walking we pretty much can reach 15 different restaurants on campus that range from 2 to 10 kuai per meal. Our dorms are pretty clean, I can’t complain. The bed, well, it’s hard as a rock but I seem to be sleeping fine. Maybe I’m used to it now!

School:

The third day we were here we took a placement test and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I didn’t excel, but I did better than I thought I would considering I haven’t studied or practiced my Chinese in 3 months. I was placed in intermediate high level but decided to jump up to the highest level in intermediate for spoken language and written. My tutor insists I should be in advanced low for spoken but I feel comfortable with this class, the teacher is awesome. Her name is Professor Wang and she was my USC teacher’s roommate at Beijing University for their undergrad—I guess it’s even a small world in China!

Every week I have about 23 hours of class, it’s a little overwhelming but definitely good for my Chinese. I don’t have class on Friday, which is pretty nice and convenient for traveling if I choose to. All my teachers are great, they seem to be really friendly and very atypical for China in the sense that they are open to talk about anything that is brought up with little reservation. Everyone in my program is assigned a graduate student in language studies as a tutor. From what I’ve heard from other people, I feel pretty lucky that mine doesn’t speak English and expresses little desire to learn it. She’s very good at teaching and helped me a lot with my homework last week. We are supposed to meet about 3 hours a week with our tutors and I’m hoping I can sneak in a few more hours since she’s so helpful. I was discussing the Communist Party with her and different aspects of it and she kind of blindsided me when she told me that she was a member! She said that many college students at Beijing University and Qinghua get recruited because they’re all the top of their age group in their respective subject matters. I kind of decided I should probably avoid all topics concerning Chinese politics or politics in general.

Church:

The first week we were here we had a group of about 8 people go to mass which was pretty nice. It’s on the other side of town but the subway stops right in front of it and it’s an English mass. I was able to go to confession John! And I didn’t need to use my phone app to help me with that haha. The priest is great, I’m pretty sure he studied in the United States because I spoke to him a bit after and his English is phenomenal. We are getting ready to head back to mass today with another big group of people so it seems like it will become a habit!

Miscellaneous:

Gabe, my good friend Steve, and I went to the Great Wall yesterday by public bus. It is over 70 km away from our school and it cost us 8 kuai round trip. It took about an hour and a half to get there and it was a perfect day to go because it snowed the previous night and very few people were there, not to mention it was beautiful. I still haven’t figured out how to upload my pictures since my iPhoto app is messed up on my computer, but I’m sure my brother will help me quickly resolve this… mhmmm.

We went to dinner with a diplomat I met one of the first nights we were here and he invited us to a beautiful restaurant in the center of a park. It’s in the Russian district of Beijing so it was very Western but the food was authentic Chinese and arguably the best I have had since I’ve been here. He was the diplomat for Singapore for 4 years before becoming a diplomat in Japan for the Chinese government for 7 years. His English is extremely fluent and he is a very nice guy. He paid for the dinner against my will and invited us to dinner at his favorite sushi place next weekend. I also was able to see Dr. Lu again this past weekend and he brought a few of us to dinner and introduced us to some really nice people as always. He should be coming back here when Dad and Janie come visit but I’m not sure about the dates.

I can’t think of much else to write about yet. The food is excellent as always and we’ve been having a lot of responsible fun just hanging out and meeting up with old friends from years past.

If you have any questions, post them on the comments section and I’ll be sure to answer them. I’ll try and get pictures as soon as possible. Hope everyone’s doing great, life in China isn’t bad but I miss you all!

再见！

小龙

祝我生日快乐!

2011-02-21T18:38:00.001-08:00

Upon arrival at the airport Gabe and I quickly learned the perks of being “laowai” (foreigners) in a country predominantly one race. What initially struck him as terrifying, he soon learned brought about many benefits. The bus ride from the airport to the hotel gave me a chance to meet several of the students from across the United States that are also participating in the program. I think I’m very fortunate thus far, everyone in the group is extremely friendly and we seem to all be getting along well. It is the first week of course.

Well, Beijing University has its perks. With more than 40,000 of China’s brightest students, it certainly can be a bit overwhelming. When I first arrived on campus it was empty, class wouldn’t start for another week. Yesterday, students flooded the campus with parents, luggage, and enough bicycles to make the start of the Tour de France look like child’s play. All is well at school.

Dorms—well let’s just say they aren’t five-star but they are suitable and have all amenities needed, except a refrigerator, which would be fantastic. My milk is hanging out the window by a string which leads me to the point of this place is way too damn cold. After learning my lesson in 2008, I cautiously approached my bed rather than jumping on it and breaking my arm. It’s hard. Really hard. Fortunately for me, I’ll be able to sleep anywhere after these four months are up. Gabe was able to check in to the dorm/hotel with us and is living two doors down from me for the time being. It’s quite convenient. My roommate, Daniel, is a great guy; we have a lot in common—the most important being he’s Catholic. He attends Notre Dame, I’m trying not to hold that against him, and he’s from New Jersey.

Of course the day after I got here, as many of you should know, was my birthday. It was one heck of a birthday. We had about 15 people come out to dinner which was a pleasant surprise considering I just met them all. I brought them to one of my favorite restaurants in Hou Hai (后海). It’s a beautiful place with a lake in the middle now more like a huge ice rink. After getting the party started with 白酒 (bai jiu = Chinese sake), we went to a bar where I know the manager and she gave us a few free bottles of vodka and other stuff. Of course, I had a few drinks but I was fine. There was however, one friend who couldn’t handle the 白酒 quite as well as the rest of us. After leaving the bar and exploring the frozen lake, which was probably not the safest thing to be doing, we began to realize that one of us was missing. This person will go unnamed, but let’s just say he was nowhere to be found. Hou Hai has bars surrounding the entire lake; initially our idea was to leave the bar and go to a club to dance and hang out. Well the bar and the club were on opposite sides of the lake, walking around would have taken close to 30 minutes, crossing the ice, 5 minutes. No, this person didn’t fall through, but once we got to the other side of the lake, we had to retrace our steps where we found said unnamed person hunched over in a dark alley spewing wildly in all directions. Most of us were terrified, mostly because we couldn’t believe any single human being could have so much matter in a stomach that could be projectile vomited. After realizing unnamed jackass couldn’t walk more than two feet without face planting in his own vomit, it was over my shoulder they went vomiting down my back as we ran to a taxi.

Now this is where it gets really good. I should remind my audience it is my birthday and I am the one caring for said individual. Once this person couldn’t stand or mutter more than “uhhhhh,” I realized that my first experience in a Chinese hospital was imminent. How were we going to get him there? We stopped about five taxis and as soon as they saw what was left of this human being that was wasting away and they realized the chances of him soiling their car in any form was extremely high, they would speed away. That is until I offered a cab driver 300 kuai to save this persons life and drive us 10 minutes away. Friendly reminder, it’s still my birthday at this point.

Arriving at the nearest emergency room was an experience in itself. With three new friends helping me carry drunken rag doll, our bonds were formed for life. After the doctor greeted us with a chuckle, I explained to him, in Chinese, that our friend drank what seemed to be more than required for a slight buzz. The doctor had us toss him on a rolling bed as he continued to spew in all directions soiling his and everyone else’s clothes.

Of course, when entering a Chinese hospital, you must pay a fee before the doctor will look at the patient. The fee is 6 kuai, that’s about $1. They have their priorities straight. After paying the required pence, the doctor then asked me what was wrong with my friend if it wasn’t clear enough. I explained in my best Chinese that my friend drank too much and we were definitely worried that he had alcohol poisoning. He sent me with a prescription to another line around the corner where I paid 20 kuai to get the prescription and another 600 kuai for the actual medicine. It’s still my birthday. Meanwhile, unnamed friend’s face is now completely covered in vomit and moaning as if he is experiencing childbirth.

I finally get back to the bedside and ask the doctor to please put the IV in as fast as he can. Now this tells you how much I fear the coming three months, I actually asked the doctor if he would show me how to put an IV in so if this happened in the future I could act as a corpsman until we reached friendly territory. After he said I could watch but shouldn’t try it on my own, the IV was in and the four of us who were sober felt a huge weight lifted off our soldier. Soon after, the three guys that I hadn’t really met until that night decided it would the right time to leave since the hospital was pretty cold and it was 1 am. I sincerely appreciated their help. For the next three hours, I didn’t have a chair and my jacket was pretty much used to keep the victim from experiencing hypothermia. You’re probably wondering if I have pictures of this wonderful event—the answer is a huge YES. However, without proper editing, some of them may be inappropriate for my average reader and may give the identity of this individual away. With time, they will come.

After about an hour of chatting with the 24 YEAR-OLD DOCTOR! (who, by the way, is far too young to be responsible for anyone’s life) I decided I should probably ask the doctor if he could get me a chair. Not without one more incident that I can honestly say has scarred me for life. Unnamed victim, lying on the hospital bed in the middle of the hall which is filled with upwards of 30 other groups of people, begins screaming/moaning; I don’t even know what to call it. So I responded, “Are you ok? What’s wrong?” He replied, “I have to pee, really really bad!!!! Help!” He continued, “It hurts so bad! I have to pee!”

Interjection: What on earth does one do at this point? I’m about a 5-minute sober walk from the bathroom. He clearly still is nowhere near coherency. He’s screaming in pain because his bladder has filled far beyond capacity to what I imagine looks something like a yellow balloon that is about to explode with the slightest pressure added. And guess who comes to the rescue? 24 year-old doctor with what looks to me like a blue milk carton with an oversized mouth. “What am I supposed to do with this?” I asked in Chinese. You know when you ask a question and right after it comes out of your mouth every part of you wishes you could take it back and just erase the last 10 seconds? That’s what happened. Before I knew it, I was performing a procedure I truly believed I would never, and I mean NEVER, have to perform. Between my utter disgust, unnamed belligerent’s moaning satisfaction, the doctor’s smirk, and the nurse’s near fainting at the unintentional sighting of what was happening I was truly overwhelmed by the situation and began to laugh at the complete ridiculousness of what was ensuing.

It wasn’t long after this seemingly long process that I realized I started to feel uneasy in the stomach. Was it the fact that I had just crossed a line that might be considered illegal in Saudi Arabia or the fact that the entire situation had just emotionally drained me? I don’t know, but I quickly found myself outside the hospital up-chucking in the nearest bush as I regained my senses. Many of you might think it was the result of drinking. You would be wrong. I hadn’t had a drink for more than 3 hours at this point and throughout the entire night I had about 4 drinks, total. Presumably about 10 percent of what my drunken colleague must have had to reach this point.

After returning to the bedside and being unable to look anyone in the eye, especially the tormented nurse, I quickly began to seek means of getting out of this predicament as quickly as possible. I begged the doctor to make the IV move faster. As we were speaking, the body on the bed moved and laid on top of the IV. Assuming it was ok, we continued our conversation. As I’m speaking, I caught a glimpse of something red. When I looked down to investigate, I realized that blood was quickly leaking from this individual and coalescing on the floor and the bed completely soaking unnamed individual’s clothing and bed lining. Not realizing it was just a matter of the needle being displaced, I jumped in to panic mode. Would my friend die like this? Lying in a bottom of the barrel hospital after surviving alcohol poisoning? It couldn’t be. The doctor didn’t look so worried, he just called for the nurse who couldn’t believe she actually had to approach us, and she saved the day by replacing something on the contraption. My friend had been saved—yet again.

I continued the prodding and the doctor said he would try to make it faster. After he squeezed the bag several times, which may or may not be medically accepted, I realized it was futile. I was going to be sitting there for a while. Picture the situation at hand and it will quickly make you realize the ridiculousness of the entire night. Two somewhat Anglo-Saxon Americans sitting in the halls of a Beijing University hospital with a birthday boy using his limited Chinese to save the life of a friend in need. I felt an urge to tell the doctor we were Canadian as I drifted in and out of consciousness.

After falling asleep for about ten minutes, the doctor woke me up with a jolt; I think I was in combat sleep mode by this point. I jumped up expecting anything. Luckily this particular instance, it was just to inform me that the IV was empty, finally. While ripping off the tape holding down the IV, the nurse proceeded with extreme caution as if she was worried about pulling the hair from his hand and causing him pain. I laughed at the irony. A part of me wished she would make it as painful as possible. Apparently, drunken idiot was sober at this point; considering he had just been filled with close to 2000 milliliters I wasn’t entirely surprised. He woke with a jolt because the tape hurt. “Owwwwww!” Ten second pause. “Why am I in a hospital?” I didn’t know where to begin. Instead, I just told him to get up and let’s get the heck out of here. After thanking the doctor profusely, we strolled out the front door, both somewhat covered in vomit, looking like two battle-hardened vets. As we waited for thirty minutes in the 10 degree weather outside, he explained how he woke up and saw a white coat and he had just been dreaming he was laying in bed at home having the best sleep of his life and having not remembered the misery of the past 5 hours. For a second I kind of wished the tables had been turned.

As luck would have it, said friend woke up with absolutely nothing resembling a hangover. I, on the other hand, felt terrible because I was only able to sleep for about 4 hours. As I write this story, I’m sitting in a coffee shop laughing. While this story may make for a great blog post, I fully resolve to not relive it. Needless to say, my birthday prior to my first trip to the hospital was a great one. I’ve met a lot of really great people that I can see myself becoming really close to over the coming months. Many of them are from Notre Dame, which means as fans we are rivals but as Catholics we get along well.

I hope everyone enjoyed this blog. I can’t promise to make them this entertaining every time I write and to a degree I hope they aren’t this entertaining. If anyone has any questions about what’s going on just leave one in the comments section. Also, I’ll be posting another blog about school in the next couple days.

I’ll leave you with two words of advice today. First, when taking care of belligerent friends, always be well prepared for issues concerning digestive system so as not to blindside you and leave you scarred for life. Second, avoid hospitals at all cost if you yourself are the patient to be. If you’re not, make them readily accessible as we left the hospital having spent close to 1,000 kuai for 5 hours in the hospital. That’s about the equivalent of $175. I couldn’t purchase a Playstation for that price!!!!!

Cheers.

A Great Start to A Long Haul

2011-02-19T19:50:00.001-08:00

2.1 decades ago the world was graced with a birth rivaling that of the Great Caesar and according to many, surpassing that of Mr. Lincoln himself; while few have heard his name, all have benefited from his time on earth in some way or another. Like all great men, AJ Bayus has much to his resume—from single-handedly negotiating peace accords with the barbarian tribes of the Amazon, to saving thousands of oil-soaked seals and dolphins in the Gulf Coast during last years disaster. It was just twenty-one years and nine months ago to the day when Robin and Tony Bayus made what turned out to be the most profitable mistake of their lives.

For this unprecedented celebration in AJ’s life, I was blessed to be a part of his first two beers, shot of tequila, and shot of whiskey. Unfortunately, AJ goes to school at the University of Hawaii where he swings a bat for a living while bringing hordes of women to their knees with a quick flash of his furry chest. What this meant for me was that in order to celebrate his day of birth, I was forced to travel to Hawaii where I couldn’t leave the apartment wearing more than a bathing suit and flip-flops. It was torture. It’s hard visiting a place where the temperature varies from 75 to 85 every day during the summer, but I was a trooper and I put up with it.

Following AJ’s first few drinks, my time spent on the island consisted of eating, surfing, scuba diving WWII wrecks and fun things like learning how to pick up a car after it has been towed for illegal parking. Yea, that happened. Overall, my time spent in Oahu with AJ couldn’t have been any better. It was a great way to start my four months abroad with great people and even better weather. Thank you AJ.

Then reality hit me. I would be spending 120 days of my life living in what could be the most polluted city in the world where temperatures range from 10-40 degrees Farenheit. But before the misery began, I had one last glimpse of sunlight when one of my wonderful sisters, Janie, met me at the Seattle airport during my layover to bring Gabe and I what could be my last American lunch for a very long time. (Sidenote: Gabriel Garcia is in China with me. He will be here for the first two weeks.) After our great layover, we jumped on Hainan Airlines flight 496 for eleven and a half hours of pure misery. I’ve never experienced seats on an airplane that make you wish you were being burnt alive—a little bit of an exaggeration, I know. But seriously, they were that bad. I slept maybe 2 hours, if you call it sleep, and read the rest of the time while I complained to Gabe about my lower back.

When we arrived and picked up our luggage, it was off to Beijing University. Everyone in the program seems really nice and I’m enjoying getting to know them all. My roommate is awesome, he’s a great guy who goes to Notre Dame and happens to be Catholic (my new Church buddy). Gabe was able to rent a room in the dorm hotel three doors down from me so it worked out great. Not much has transpired other than what I’ve given above but I’ll be sure to check in regularly. Hope everyone at home is great, thanks for all the birthday wishes, I miss you all!

Michael

It's the Pollution...

2010-07-01T04:36:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry. Let it be done. It's been more than a month since my last blog posting and I realize that is an extremely long time for me to have absolutely nothing interesting to write about. I can only attribute this to one thing, the pollution. If you woke up every day and looked out your window and couldn't see more than a kilometer away from your 15th story apartment, you'd want to fall back to sleep and avoid thinking and writing as much as possible too. Almost like if you're living in Seattle! I'm about to summarize a month of living in Beijing in something you should be able to read in less than five minutes.

Beijing is mediocre. Sometimes I feel like life in Beijing is so unpredictable; one third of the time life is great, one third of the time life kind of sucks, and one third of the time it's in the middle. Right now I'd say I've reached a trough. I hope this wave will hold out for another 6 weeks.

Since the last time we spoke, I have been to Xi'An (西安）, Tokyo（东京）, and of course all over Beijing (北京). I'll start with Xi'An. The place is probably best known for the Terra Cotta Warriors (Wikipedia them), and for good reason. The fact that one man ordered the building of thousands of life-sized clay warriors to be buried with him and that order was carried out is astonishing. Unfortunately for us, the warriors happened to be the only interesting site in the whole city. We saw several other places that would be considered "interesting" if it was your first time in China, but the fact that every important building ever built in the thousands of years of history of China looks the exact same really puts a damper on things that have a real potential for attracting people. Probably the second most entertaining thing we did was bike ride on top of the wall that surrounds Xi'An city. We were able to do it in under 4 minutes and we saw much of the modern city while enjoying the fact that everyone kept laughing as we passed by: did I mention we were riding a tandem bike with no shirt on? Other than the fact it was 95 degrees outside and humidity was that of a small bathroom with no fan after a long hot shower, it wasn't the most pleasant experience. Quick side note, I can't go without mentioning that Xi'An is flooded with pick-pocketers, all potential visitors beware.

After what felt like the longest semester of my life, we were given a five day break in between the start of the next semester of classes. Naturally, I, along with two friends, decided to spend that time in Asia's most interesting Capital, Tokyo. Now before I went to this delightful place, I knew absolutely nothing about it. When I think of Japan I think of two things, sushi and World War II. While both extremely important in the country of Japan, they would be two of the least impressive aspects of Japanese modern culture. Our outlook out of the gate wasn't very positive, it turns out the weathermen all over the world are equally wrong, they forecasted thunderstorms every day we were there and it only rained the night we got there and the morning we left. While most of these days blended together I can tell you about the most interesting experiences we had and even post pictures below. I'll make the summary short: Bring your best walking shoes. Stay away from Shibuya at night, turns out it's the red light district. If you're a college student, never use a taxi, subways only. Choose a hostel that keeps its doors open 24 hours a day; I say this because ours was closed from 2 am to 4:30 am, this creates a huge problem, 2 am is way too early and 4:30 am is way too late to be coming home from Tokyo's nightlife. NEVER eat raw horse meat. Pull an all nighter in Raponggyi and then at 4 am catch a taxi to the fish market to see the most fascinating tuna auction on earth. Tokyo spas (onsen as they call them) are for naked people only. The only people that speak English are the Nigerians on the street who try and trick you into entering their bosses brothel. Massage in Japanese means sex. Don't trust travel guide books, talk to the locals. Every attractive girl you see walking with a man over 50 is for hire. If a girl who is way too attractive for you starts dancing with you in a club, she's trying to increase her client base. Unless you are willing to pay thousands of US dollars at a hostess bar, stay away, the rest are just brothels. Finally, don't let friends with weak stomachs eat sea urchin sushi for breakfast at 5 am.

For the most part, Tokyo was a lot of fun, it was really hard to be in a country where we couldn't communicate with anyone other than thank you and hello and goodbye. I was able to eat sushi just about every day which was pretty much heaven on earth. The best sushi, by far, was the sushi that you eat for breakfast right after the tuna auction. It's relatively cheap and absolutely delicious. Sushi for breakfast is a little strange, but if you can get over that idea, you should definitely try it out.

As for studying in Beijing, it's not changing much. A typical weekday consists of me waking up around 7 am, studying in the lobby or cafe for an hour to prepare for my daily quiz where I have to memorize about 50 new characters, class from 9 to 12, lunch at the Japanese restaurant in the basement from 12-1, speaking with a Chinese partner from 1-1:30. Then homework until dinner time. During the weekends, we go dancing sometimes and we go watch world cup games sometimes but most of the time is filled with homework. I think my Chinese is improving but it's hard to tell. I'm able to hold conversations without stopping and asking for an explanation too many times, classes are entirely in Chinese, we aren't allowed to speak english, and I love arguing with taxi drivers about why Mao Ze Dong was not the god they think he was. It's a genuine blast.

I guess there isn't much more to say today, life has pretty much entered a rhythm, unfortunately I hate rhythms. I am looking forward to New Zealand with my wonderful mother and getting back to SC after that.

I have been called many things in my life, but one thing I will most certainly never be called is a "Consistent Blogger." For this I must apologize. Thank you for reading, enjoy the pictures below!

Michael

Pictures!

Click on them to enlarge if you want.

I'd like you to meet my teacher, AKA Mao Ze Dong's younger brother.

Me on the Great Wall at BaDaLing. I jumped over the wall that said "Do Not Go Beyond This Point". It was worth it.

A fraction of the clay soldiers that were made for this Emperor.

Me giving a talk to Singapore students in Chinese... Well, it was more like half Chinese, half English.

Riding tandem on the Xi'An wall.

Dad's Visit to Beijing

My name in Tradition Characters. Simplified looks like this: 吴小龙

Can someone tell me what this flower is? Saw it in Japan, it's beautiful.

Some Japanese people are very big fans of ours... I guess that doesn't need an explanation.

Tokyo from a viewing Tower.

Red Bull Girls in Tokyo that speak no English!

What is more strange in this picture, the guys dressed as Greasers dancing at the entrance to Yoyogi Park or the French dude crouching dressed as a Nun?

They do this every Sunday. Yoyogi Park is a must see in Tokyo, strangest place I've been. We actually danced Salsa with several of the people who were just playing music and dancing in the middle of the park.

Skyline in the day from Tokyo Tower.

Skyline in Evening from Tokyo Tower.

Tokyo Tower from the base.

The biggest Tuna I've ever seen. That one in front of that guy is at least his length without a tail and weighs twice as much.

How Did I End Up At the UN?

2010-05-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

Welcome back... to what just might be the most solipsistic blog in the current blogosphere. As I reached Beijing this summer I started to think about my blog and what exactly I could add to it that would make it even remotely interesting and it dawned on me--this blog is entirely about me, does anyone really care? Mom and Dad, you don't count.

So here I am, continuing my blog dismissing those thoughts and wishing upon Betelgeuse that most of you might actually care about what my life has in store for me in China.

And we begin by taking you to a far away land, formerly known as the Orient, more commonly referred to as the People's Republic of China, more commonly referred to as China, and most commonly, given the number of Chinese people in the world, 中国.

I arrived a little over a week ago in the beautiful Beijing airport. With little to do I spent most of my time in my hotel room but managed to make it out and meet some old friends from last year. I met a friend at Hou Hai, the Riviera of Beijing if there ever was one, and quickly learned the West has been influencing China a great deal. I came across several homosexual people, and what looked like a communist attempt at a strip club (no I did not enter if you were wondering). After wandering about we had some dinner and I headed back to my hotel, this repeated for several days until it came time to move into my temporary home (shout out to Carrie Underwood).

ShouDu ShiFan DaXue, 首都师范大学, Capital Normal University is where I will be living for the next two months. It has two campuses, the first is a major attraction for taxi drivers, the second is a major attraction for foreigners and was never placed on the map that is currently being used for taxi drivers, or so it seems. I am living on the second campus. Though quaint, it has more than its share of interesting features. The gym is nice, my dorm is comparable to my dorms in Boston and it's proximity to everything in Beijing is far from convenient. But hey, I'm here to learn Chinese and as we all learned from my previous times in China getting lost is the best way to put homework into practice.

USC's group currently consists of 15 students either in Chinese III or Chinese V. I am proud to say I am a representative of the minority non-asian group. A whopping four of us stand proud, ready to prove though lacking in appearance, our language skills can often compete with those that fit in simply by appearance.

Class is going well, we are swamped with homework and are being forced to memorize about 150-200 characters per week--what a blast. With the repetition of characters over the next two months, it's safe to say I will lose all feeling in my hand while simultaneously becoming closer and closer to being fluent in this God-forsaken yet beautiful language.

Life is good in China, I can't complain. I miss family and friends but I'm making plenty of the latter and don't be surprise if I come home having started a new former (totally kidding). I think I'm truly in love with this facility though. There are kids from at least 20 different countries here, the majority being Korea. I've met a kid from Iraq, several from Russia, several from Italy and too many to count from China. My favorite part is that none of these kids speak English so we all have to converse in Chinese. Picture it, myself, and American, getting to know a college student from Iraq conversing in a language from an entirely different continent than either of us were born on. It's quite the sight and really fun.

I'm sorry I don't have any pictures to post but I'll work on that for the next one. We plan on traveling to Xi'An in a week or two and I'll definitely have pictures from that. The Great Wall is this weekend and several other small trips in Beijing.

I look forward to reading your comments.

再见！Ciao! Goodbye!

吴小龙

香港 - Hong Kong

2009-12-07T06:33:00.000-08:00

It’s amazing how a simple trip to another town can rejuvenate you on so many levels. What initially was a trip to refresh my 60 day limit of stay in China, turned into an incredible experience in an unimaginable city.

If you take away the Chinese characters, a street in Hong Kong could easily be mistaken for a street in Las Vegas or even New York City for that matter. Second only to American big cities, it is perhaps the most diverse city I have ever come across. Sure, the majority of the city is packed with native Chinese, but around every corner lies something from another part of the world—mosques, catholic monasteries, French restaurants, Bank of America, British trolleys, etc… It was a truly fascinating experience.

Hong Kong still baffles me when it comes to figuring out where it belongs in the Chinese system. It’s considered part of China, but when traveling there you have to go through customs and Americans don’t need a visa for entry. Chinese customs considers a trip to Hong Kong to be “leaving the country” but at the same time it’s a Special Economic Zone according to China’s government. After experiencing the city, it’s almost as if it doesn’t belong in China’s realm. Perhaps that’s why it’s considered a separate entity in many cases.

Entering Hong Kong is like entering a China that exists 20 or even 50 years from now. The Great Firewall of China, as they call it, doesn’t exist in Hong Kong. The people all speak English. Protests are supposedly quite common and legal. On one stretch of road, I think I saw a place of worship for at least all of the great world religions. Things like this are unthinkable on the “mainland.” Perhaps the most surprising difference was the incredibly progressive/liberal views towards pornography. Let’s just say Hong Kong takes it too far when following the marketing edict of “sex sells.” Comparing Hong Kong to Beijing is like comparing Las Vegas to Salt Lake City—worlds apart.

Through all the commotion in the city which seemed to last 24/7, I was able to find a Catholic church nearby my hotel. Because Hefei has no Catholic churches, it was probably the most attractive part of the whole city. I was able to catch mass both full days I was there and even made time for confession. To show how diverse the place is, there were two priests saying mass: one from India, and one from Hong Kong. The priest who heard my confession was from Spain and had been in China for 18 years, mostly Hong Kong. Needless to say, it was a much needed break.

A few good friends were able to provide me with some clutch suggestions relating to food and must-see sights. The first was the Inter-Continental Hotel. It’s ranked in the top hotels in the world, so of course I couldn’t afford to stay there, but I could afford to have some sushi at their restaurant with a view overlooking Victoria Harbor and downtown Hong Kong. Then there were the shopping areas. If I was a weaker man, I would have bankrupt my father with all the incredible deals they had going in those shopping centers. I held strong, not spending a single dollar on clothes or other merchandise. Finally, I went to see the giant Buddha statue. It was an interesting experience to say the least and I was able to ride a gondola-esque ski lift up to it at extremely high altitudes that frightened me at times.

Overall, Hong Kong was an incredible experience. Although I could probably never live there, I would recommend everyone to see it at least once. It’s beautiful and culturally rich regardless of what the British did to the place. Furthermore, it’s living proof, along with New Zealand and Australia, that outside of Africa colonialism did a lot of good. Next time you doubt that, ask someone from Hong Kong if they’d rather be living in Beijing.

‘Til Next Time Friends,

Michael

Did you think I would forget the pictures?

Had to post this one. Saint Michael slaying a Dragon! Backdrop is Hong Kong.

British spelling is like nails on a chalkboard.

Comedy

Hong Kong in the day.

Hong Kong at night. Give me a break, I had no tripod so I had to set my camera on a gate.

Shopping District in Kowloon

Way too high.

Woman praying to Buddha

Me in front of the big Buddha. I posted this for my mother so she knows I'm still alive.

Papa Wurth and Jeremy Come to China

2009-11-28T06:27:00.000-08:00

Life’s not easy in China and I wanted to make sure my father understood that. I never would have wanted it to happen this way though. Soon after arriving at the Hefei airport, we were forced to split up into two taxis due to the obscene amount of luggage and the personal pharmacy my father enjoys carrying alone. Taxi one consisted of me, and taxi two consisted of Papa Wurth and Jeremy. After telling the taxi driver, in Chinese, where to drop them off, I thought all was swell.

I started worrying a little bit after five minutes of waiting at the destination. I started to worry a lot after I saw their driver pull up without them onboard. He started yelling at me explaining I told him the wrong gate but then I politely reminded him that he heard wrong and when I corrected him he forgot the correction and still took them to the wrong gate. After chasing them down for what seemed like two hours in the freezing rain, I found them, right where they were supposed to be—the Guest House.

Great way to start off the journey in China I thought. They learned quickly the fact of China that few people speak English and even fewer know how to get anywhere outside of a one mile radius of their home. It’s fair to say that the mishap on day one was the first and only of the trip. All else went as smooth as a baby’s bottom.

I was quickly able to show the duo the most useful spots around town realizing that they wouldn’t be able to find them without a translator anyway. Jeremy and Dad came to love a place bakery called Bread Talk and made it a daily destination for the most part. Food, though a huge concern to begin with, was a non-issue. Chinese are basically vegetarians that eat meat on occasion and their daily food isn’t as on-the-edge as my experiences and pictures may have led on. Dad’s home away from home was McDonalds and Jeremy’s was the tea house where we spent much of our time. I must insert a side note here. Although Dad spent many hours at McDonalds drinking coffee and working, I will say he only ate their once and it was a chicken sandwich. I was very proud of him. He considered it more like a Starbucks than a McDonalds and he showed great self-restraint.

Our diet consisted of reserved meals such as vegetables, beef, pork, dumplings with a combination of the previous, and some more adventurous things like turtle and stinky tofu. (Dad actually tried the turtle!!)

Stinky tofu was quite the hit with Papa Wurth and Jeremy. They were first introduced to the delightful snack while walking near what they thought was a sewage leak—hello stinky tofu. It is literally impossible to imagine how bad this stuff really smells. The best way to describe it is this: if your child walked up to you and wreaked of stinky tofu, you would think the baby somehow ate a pound of blue cheese mixed with curdled milk, proceeded to defecate the now digested foods, then put this defecation in a bowl of sulfur and stirs, finally, before placing it all over him/herself, continues to allow the sulfur-covered defection to mold for about two days in the mid-summer sun. It’s that bad. If you don’t believe me, feel free to ask either of them, they will go into stories of how they both almost vomited when they first smelled it and then how they almost changed tables when Dr. Lu decided to order it.

Another thing Dad found quite peculiar/annoying, was the Chinese obsession with bones. This greatly contrasts to Papa Wurth’s undying love for de-boning chicken and boneless meat in general. Two worlds collided and neither Jeremy nor I, nor any Chinese we ate with thereafter heard the end of that bitter debate about when China will start de-boning their meat.

After getting all the tourist things out of the way, it was time to start preparing for THE TALK. We prepared quite a bit for about two days and pretty much remade a large portion of the talk. Jeremy and I would start our days at the tea shop drinking free tea, and Dad would start his at McDonalds drinking coffee and writing down thoughts for his talk. Wednesday came and that evening was the big event. Dad nailed it and the students truly enjoyed his wisdom. He was asked some difficult questions but they were all very pleased with his answers and even more impressed with what they already knew about him after some research on Google. (Apparently it’s quite easy to find out who is selling houses and even how much they are going for. Needless to say, the probably hadn’t heard of a house costing anywhere near that much considering housing is pretty cheap and readily available in China).

After the talk, Jeremy and I laid out our suggestions and once again, Papa Wurth started from scratch for talk number two which was for the MBA students. The following days were spent working and playing and eating delicious foods and perusing China and its wonders. Everyone was starting to get a hang of the routine. Tea house in the morning, office in the late morning, lunch at San Li An shopping center, and free time in the afternoon before a big banquet dinner at night. Life was good.

Saturday morning came and Papa Wurth was locked and loaded for talk number two. If Dad got a B+ for his performance on Wednesday, he surely deserved an A+ for Saturday. The talk was intriguing and the students showed their interest by their outstanding questions. I heard more than once during and after the talk over my shoulder “Your Dad is awesome.” He really did a great job. After the talk we had a wonderful lunch with the students and they were able to continue asking questions and conversing. The real fun occurred about 6 hours later when we convinced Papa Wurth to join us at karaoke, or rather, KTV. To call KTV China’s favorite pastime is not an exaggeration. They are everywhere! Probably close to one on every block. After watching Dad get his groove on and Jeremy and I joining in on some great classics I knew that they had truly experienced modern day China.

As for their reaction to Papa Wurth in general, it was quite funny at times. They couldn’t understand is fascination with boneless meat and couldn’t understand his distaste for foods like donkey (he did try it though!), eel, stinky fish and stinky tofu. I explained how it was difficult for older people to try new things because they had been on a path their entire life. They understood. What they didn’t quite understand was Jeremy’s status as a vegan. Vegetarian was easy enough to understand. Vegan was a word we had to explain to them. In fact, Dr. Lu still refers to it, when speaking with his students about it, as vegan. The reason? Because there probably isn’t a commonly used word for it in the Chinese language! The primary concern for the Chinese was his inability to consume egg, which is just about in every single dish in Chinese traditional foods.

For the rest of our experiences, refer to the pictures. They speak louder than words.

Michael

Pictures Courtesy of Jeremy Gleason!

Papa Wurth on a camel at the Hefei Wild Animal Park

Jeremy getting his cheap thrills, cost about $2

Dad and I

Dad enjoying the snow with his USSR hat

Moto-Taxi that wanted to drive Dad home. He wasn't having it.

Jeremy and I with our tea expert.

Dad's first talk.

Ladies and Gentlemen, that is dog hanging on the far left.

Traditional Restaurant

Jeremy making some tea Gong Fu style.

Dad's final talk with Jeremy eyeing the camera.

Catching Up and Sharing Wisdom

2009-11-24T02:50:00.000-08:00

Yes I am still alive. Blogs are tough; I understand that some people want to know what I’m doing daily and how I’m faring in China, but at the same time, I want to make sure every blog is at least interesting if not all out entertaining. We walk a fine line. One warning I have to throw in here—being in a foreign country that speaks a different language does horrible things to your English. With that said, I can not guarantee my writing will live up to past blogs or even make much sense for that matter.

The past couple weeks have flown by. I’ve been studying just about every day trying to memorize as many characters as humanly possible. MBA and undergraduate classes in business are interesting and I’m also learning a lot in both of those. I love it here but always think about home and family and friends. Luckily, my father and friend, Jeremy Gleason, visited me last week and I was able to show them around and prove to my father that I wasn’t wasting my time or his money and that I am actually learning a little bit of the language! It was a good week and a lot of fun. Now, I’m back to my usual schedule of studying and eating and sleeping. It looks like we will be heading to Hong Kong in order to rectify my visa problems. (I’m only allowed to be in China for 60 days at a time so I have to leave the country and then re-enter in order to avoid imprisonment).

Some observations:

Consider yourself lucky. As most of you know, China is a communist country and therefore limits the freedom its citizens have. One of these freedoms we often take for granted is academic. Let’s see, I’ve changed my major in college three times now as I’m sure so many of you did as well. In China, it’s not that easy. Each student takes a national college exam, similar to the SAT except it holds a lot more weight—in fact, it holds all the weight. Each student also selects three universities in each tier. For example, in America first tier would be Harvard, Stanford, Yale. Second tier would be UCI, Northeastern, etc… Furthermore, you select your top three choices for majors. Now depending on your score, you will either get your top choice school and major or none of them, or a combination of the two. So if I did poorly on my exam, I might be thrown in my third tier school and then given a major that wasn’t even on my top three. Could you imagine? Paying for school to study something you aren’t the least bit interested in? That’s what quite a few students end up doing in China and having to live with it after college. If nothing else, it sure does make you want to ace that national exam! The point I’m trying to make is that seemingly little things aren’t so little. One of my friends here in China wanted to major in law. She did decent on her national exams and she’s pretty darn smart (she got a 730 out of 800 on her GMAT—perspective: the average Harvard Business School student got a 713). But, because the system has it’s quirks, to say the least, she was placed in her second tier schools and given a major that wasn’t even on her list, Telecommunications.

On a less serious note, I’ve been experimenting with new foods over the past couple of weeks and, sadly, the most exciting thing I’ve eaten was pig brains hot pot. Pretty simple, pretty delicious. Just throw the raw pig brains in the hot pot and wait 20 minutes to consume. Sounds good right? Yes! Picture below.

Words of wisdom from someone who has lived her for over a month now. Don’t step on manholes, no matter where you are walking. You never know who put them back on and whether or not they are supported underneath. This is much harder than it sounds. Although I haven’t had any negative experiences with these, I have heard of a couple. Better to be safe than sorry I guess. Next, don’t drink alcohol in China. I’m sure many of you are thinking, “yea right! Like I wouldn’t get wasted at every club in China!” Well, you might get wasted, but it might be the last time you do it with your vision! China is infamous for it’s black market and this includes some high end liquors. Ranging from wine to vodka, it’s almost impossible to tell from the bottle whether or not it’s real. The only thing for sure is that it’s really dangerous. Many black markets search for an expensive item, like alcohol, and try and replicate it on a much cheaper level. Unfortunately, for alcohol, this means using industrial alcohol (sometimes pure ethyl alcohol) and mixing it with something that tastes like the good stuff. Well, needless to say it can kill and even has the potential to blind if you drink too much. Oh how I’d love to throw this wrench into the party scene of friends who drink too much! You think it would reduce the number of alcoholics in America? I say it might not be such a bad idea.

This side note might seem hilarious but keep in mind I nearly had a heart attack when this occurred. Call me naïve, but I was seriously at a loss for words in English, let alone Chinese.

Upon arriving at the spa with my father and Jeremy, with the help of Dr. Lu’s son, Watson, I helped set up full body massages for them both. Of course, me being the confident person I am, I thought I could handle doing it for myself without Watson’s help. Boy I wish I could rewind the hands of time. Unfortunately, the Chinese are a very literal group of people and when you say “full body”, they mean FULL BODY! You might be thinking, ok full body means back, arms, shoulders, neck, legs and maybe feet, but you would be missing one key element. I won’t elaborate. I decided I wanted a full body massage and that’s exactly what I told the manager who found me a bed and a table. What happened five minutes later has scarred me for life and I may not ever be able to recover. In walks a woman wearing a very proper dress, far too proper for a masseuse considering every masseuse wears the same outfit. The manager follows and says “is this ok?” To which I respond in English then Chinese: oh my gosh! No no no no no no no. I want a massage!! Everyone in the room simultaneously gets really embarrassed and the manager apologizes as she leaves to find a masseuse. I did not enjoy the massage.

Final thought: This one is quite random and actually comes about from a practice the Chinese government uses when putting people to death. I find it fascinating. I don’t mean for this to be a platform for my conservative tendencies but I just wanted to share this.

First of all, I don’t believe in the death penalty but if it is legal, why not make it work for the innocent. When sentenced to death in China, the convicted party is simply shot in the head once. To me, that seems like a very quick death lacking any sort of suffering. Effective and probably not considered cruel and unusual punishment. Not to mention, its cost-effectiveness. Here’s where it gets good. Standing by during the execution is a team of highly trained surgeons ready to operate immediately thereafter. These surgeons remove all usable organs from the dead person and then quickly rush them to the hospitals to be used on people who need them. While I understand it would be a very limited number of people that would be helped considering how infrequently we put people to death, but it still seems like a respectable idea. Why inject these people with expensive medicines in an attempt to dull the suffering while destroying their perfectly useful organs when it sometimes doesn’t even work? If we want a death penalty that never fails, I propose following the economical and effective method used by the Chinese. How’s that for communism?

Cheers,

Michael

Pollution, it's not always this bad.

Just a cool picture with long exposure at night.

Tiger at Hefei Wild Animal Park

Panda

White Tiger and I

Day after first snowfall in Hefei

Pig Brains before being cooked

Dr. Lu, Dad, and I

Dad, Jeremy, and I enjoying China's favorite pasttime, Karaoke.

Short: Beware of Moto-Taxies

2009-11-01T04:20:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to post a warning to some and an opportunity to others.

If there's one thing that can get really frustrating in China, it's the absence of taxies when you need them most. Supply and Demand for taxies is never at an equilibrium. In the morning it isn't a rare sight to see one person hail a cab and have 5 taxies lined up ready. During rush hour, or even worse--rush hour when it's raining--you might as well not even try. There has been several times where I have waited more than an hour to drive 20 minutes.

Today was no different. Rush hour, about 4 pm, and I needed to get to the outdoor market to purchase a suit. I waited outside the university campus for about an hour before giving up. Just as I was about to walk away, something pulled up in my periphery. At first, I thought it was a motorcycle that I had walked in front of and nearly killed myself--I wish that were the case.

I came to find out after he asked me where I needed to go that he was what they call in a China a moto-taxi. Simple idea, seemingly effective. Someone who owns a motorcycle and wants to make a few extra bucks every day drives around town illegally picking up civilians who need to go places more quickly for a slightly steeper price.

I jumped on.

I told him where to head and what ensued was perhaps one of the most adrenaline-inducing rides of my life--slightly short of epinephrine. He drove that motorcycle like King Kong was giving chase. Fast is an understatement; graceful is quite generous. If we didn't come within one inch of at least 30 cars and perhaps 1,000 people then I was dreaming. Red lights? They only apply to vehicles with 4 wheels with passengers that care about survival. We were on a mission. Dodging moving vehicles and not stopping to run red lights were just some of the highlights. Tack on a few screams from little old ladies crossing the street and what seemed like endless honking and you still only get about 10% of the picture. We weaved through people, passed cars without a hint of concern and changed lanes as though we were driving through the deserted area of Chernobyl.

I caught myself laughing. Not to myself like I should have been but literally out loud. The idea that my life could end on the back of a 20 year old motorcycle with the driver wearing a helmet and the skin of my bald head chilled in the wind, I couldn't think of anything else to do but hold on and stare up at the sky laughing out loud. After the initial 10 minutes of absolute fear, the final 10 minutes consisted of me realizing how truly amazing this experience was. For the first time in Hefei, I felt like I was doing something adventurous and exciting. I saw the entire city and was able to feel the rush of ice-climbing, dirt bike riding and everything else in between in the middle of downtown Hefei.

To top off the ride, we exited the street and again began playing frogger along the sidewalk of frenzied people. During this exercise, my driver managed to only run in to one woman--impressive. He drove up next to a carnival-like game with a child holding a gun. The object of the game is to pop balloons with the darts. Unlike America, this game had a real dart gun aimed at a 4'x4' box with about 40 small balloons jammed inside and holding the loaded gun was a 3 year old. Like clockwork, as soon as we came up behind the little red box two things happened simultaneously--he fired the gun and missed the box and my driver almost dropped the bike out of fear as we swerved meaningfully away. It almost seemed too good to be true.

Dangerous... maybe. Exhilarating... absolutely. After being dropped off and being charged a full 10 yuan more than he initially requested (I didn't care, the ride was incredible!) I wobbled off on light feet towards the outdoor mall. After running into a duo of dancing monkeys and do-nothing caged rabbits I ended up not buying a suit and catching a safe taxi back home.

Thus concludes my experience aboard China's most exhilarating transportation services. I assure you there will be more to come. Next time I'm feeling bored, fun is just a 5 minute walk away.

Michael

*No humans or animals were harmed in the course of this event. Many came close to being harmed and some came close to dying but with the help of God, all walked away. I can not verify, however, the ethical treatment of the dancing monkeys nor the caged rabbits.

Unfortunately, I didn't bring my camera and have no pictures. This won't happen again.

Parental Discretion is Advised

2009-10-29T08:01:00.000-07:00

Parents: If your college aged child disappears and ends up in a third world country after reading this blog, please contact my lawyer at 1(800) 555-1234. If he doesn't answer, just keep trying.

Cultural relativism, according to the flawless Wikipedia, is defined as the principle that an individual human’s beliefs and activities should be understood in terms of his or her own culture. Traveling the world has forced me to remind myself of the importance of this way of thinking. To visit a society for a week is one thing; to be immersed in that same society for more than two months requires effort and study.

I have been in Hefei now for a little over a week and have already experienced more than I could have ever asked for. Being involved in dinners, meetings, classes, and much more has given me a perspective on the Chinese culture that is, not only interesting, but truly necessary in order to gain the respect of the people.

I intend to cover two things in this blog. The first being the countless cultural differences and means of overcoming them; the second being how extraordinarily cheap it truly is to live in this country compared to America. The second topic might seem out of place but the reason I want to cover it is simple: I’m tired of people emailing me telling me how much they wish they could travel abroad but don’t have the time or the money. Obviously, it is aimed at those of us who are lucky enough to be in college or even the later stages of high school.

Cultural Differences

The simplest things can often be perceived as rude or disrespectful. Take dinner for example. In America, the only seats that resemble status are at the head of the table. However, in China, almost all tables are circular. The most important guest sits farthest from and facing the door. As you go around the table, your importance becomes less and less until your back is facing directly to the door and you are the closest. The reason for this has to do with ancient times. People closest to the door were most susceptible to attacks from enemies entering the dining area. Simple enough. Lesson learned.

The next is food. Now this has less to do with being rude and more to do with survival. While eating a meal the other day I started putting what I thought were vegetables into a tortilla-like food to make myself a good old Chinese taco. Of course, I didn’t really examine the substance but ate it with delight. My pallet was pleased and I had no worries. Until… my colleague asked, “Are these baby snakes?” To my dismay, the long vegetables were not vegetables at all but rather headless snakes in disguise. Here is the most incredible phenomenon. Even though the dish was delicious and I had already stomached at least two tacos, it became much harder to swallow knowing I was eating miniature satans from the Garden of Eden. Conclusion: When in China, eat first, ask questions later. Since adopting this strategy I have become much more “Chinese” to say the least. I have devoured bowls of sea-slug soup, eaten chicken tongues, digested pig feet and most likely much much more. In order to appear cultured and to avoid offending other people, eat then ask.

Tangent: I just want to point out something I have learned that even made me cringe for some negative reason whether it was disgust, sadness, or something else it is really irrelevant. Somewhere near the border of China and Vietnam monkey brains are a delicacy. The monkeys are rhesus monkeys and they are extremely expensive. However, if your wallet allows and your fear of the afterlife is non-existent, it is possible to consume "live monkey brains." I know this sounds sadistic and borderline cannibalistic, but, being the only source of information from China that most of you have, I find it necessary to explain. The monkey, who we shall call Curious George, is first force-fed rice wine to inebriate the him. George is then placed in a constraining device where his skull is viewed from the table. The "chef"/sick human being/future serial killer then takes a knife and cracks the skull of the living monkey open until the brain is visible. At this point, I pass out. Then, boiling soup is poured into the monkey's skull to cook the brains and add flavor. How many of you sick people are still reading this? ha. Finally, the starving diners are allowed to enjoy some fresh monkey brain while Curious George screams at you and questions your humanity. I know I've tried many disgusting things in my life. But, I think this might be where I draw the line. Anyone else interested in trying?

Some other things to avoid: hugging, asking adults their first name, turning down an offering of green tea, not drinking alcohol at the dinner table especially when toasts are being given, disagreeing with the Chinese government, etc. If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask, I’ll be here all month.

Cost of Living (COL)

Traveling in America is extremely expensive. For God’s sake America’s poverty line begins at $30 dollars a day for one person. Let’s consider: My flight to China cost me $800 dollars round trip, spread out over 60 days that is about $13/day. Add in the cost of food in Hefei, I’m talking very good food, at a meager $3/day. I’m currently living in a 3 star hotel for approximately $10/day. My daily cost of living including travel expenses comes out to $26/day. Now, how many friends of mine reading this blog honestly think they live anywhere near the poverty line? I would go out on a limb and say that there isn’t a single one of my friends in college that touches $50/day living in America during the summer months while home from school. Now will someone please explain to me why you can’t “afford” to travel all over the world again? (Note: If anyone uses this as a bargaining tool with their parents, you must up the ante to $52/day to travel and change the cost of living in America to $100/day and bring me along with you!)

On to serious business. Over the course of the past week since my last blog I have met some fascinating people and learned so much from some of the brightest minds I’ve ever spoken to (this excludes you Dad of course…). I feel like I’ve just been thrown into a dream situation at the cost of $26/day. Every day I wake up, go into the office, study Chinese, meet someone important for lunch, study more Chinese or maybe attend a lecture on business in China, and then have dinner with a government official! Somewhat of an exaggeration but it’s incredible nonetheless. My spoken Chinese is improving rapidly and my reading and writing is gaining some speed but I can’t begin to describe how lucky I feel to be working with some of the brightest minds in the fields of business and education in China and the world for that matter.

Every day I engage in thoughtful debate with individuals who have spent their lives researching these topics and I get pummeled over and over again only to find a new perspective. I’m still not a communist sympathizer and I will forever cherish In-N-Out, but I am truly expanding my horizons in the truest definition of the phrase. I am attending lectures by ex-university presidents from America and sitting in on MBA classes at the MIT of China. Thank you all for reading my blog. I know I go off on random tangents and sometimes they are excruciatingly long but I’m trying my best to share my experiences and the incredible things I learn every day. It’s a lot more difficult to write a frequent blog mostly due to time constraints and a lack of change from day to day life. If anyone has any questions just email me or comment on the blog!

再见, that’s goodbye in Chinese,

Michael

Pictures:

Chicken tongues and other mouth parts...

The infamous chicken feet

Pig foot with straw to slurp out the bone marrow

Sea-Cucumber soup with everything!

Some comedy for you to lighten the load

Brace Yourself...

2009-10-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

I haven’t posted a blog in what seems like two months. It’s really been a week which is far too long and I apologize. However, I didn’t want to post a blog that consisted of travel information like flight numbers and boring tidbits like that. I wanted to wait until I had something exciting to report on. So here it is. Let me add a warning. This blog isn’t necessarily exciting. I would rate it more of an informative blog rather than entertaining. I apologize if it’s dull.

The flight back to Beijing was not too bad. As a side effect of attempting to spend the night in the airport the night before my flight from New Zealand, I was almost able to sleep the entire duration of my flights. My stay in Beijing was short. Highlight was probably getting a full head shave in a local barbershop. Hair is semi-normal as you’ll see in the pictures later.

I arrived in Hefei not knowing at all what to expect. I hadn’t met anyone here, I didn’t have a clue what I would be doing, and I didn’t know where I would be staying. Those questions are somewhat answered at this point.

Dr. Lu is my supervisor, you might call him, for the next two months I will be at China University of Science and Technology in Hefei. He has a PhD in Business and is a really intelligent and easy-going person. I quickly realized I would be staying at the University Guest House which is basically a mini-hotel in the middle of the campus. It’s nice. My room is quaint but absolutely livable. The first night I was here I was invited to dinner with some important guests that Dr. Lu was also responsible for. It was a good experience to get to know everyone and to get a feel for the people I was going to be working with. Dr. Lu is actually a pretty important person in China. His students range from Government officials to Presidents of large corporations. It's nice knowing that I'm in pretty good hands! Let's just say he's kind of a big deal and leave it at that!

A note on the University. China has it's set of elite universities. The comparisons that come to mind are Beijing University = Harvard and Xinghua University = Princeton. Well, according to several sources that I've talked to from the University and from America, USTC (the school I'm at) is usually compared to MIT. Not a poor comparison I guess. Pretty good in my book. Maybe I don't belong here! haha

The next morning we left for a conference in WuHu, Anhui Province—about a 2 hour drive. The Chinese government put us all up in a five star hotel in WuHu and each of us was given our own room with two beds and way too many free gifts. We were spoiled. Now, I’ve stayed at many hotels in my life, but this hotel was extravagant. My room was on the 27^th floor overlooking the Yangzi River and the rest of WuHu. I was so high up, my ears literally popped every time I took the elevator—I didn’t even know that was possible.

As soon as we arrived in WuHu we met with the Mayor of the city and he had a banquet for us at his favorite restaurant. Food was delicious and it was one of my first traditional-style meals. Chinese people love to make toasts! I think people toasted to me like 45 times in the past 3 days. Why? I have no idea.

After lunch we were given a tour of the Chery car company’s assembly line which was fascinating. Right after the tour we headed to the opening dinner of the Cartoon Conference. Did I mention this entire conference was about cartoons? Well, it was. The dinner again was delicious. I was able to shake hands with the Communist Party leader of Anhui Province. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it’s a big deal. He’s kind of like the equivalent of Arnold Schwarzenegger without all the movies. After dinner we rushed in to see the Anhui Province version of the Beijing Opera. (Shout out to Nichole, this Anhui Opera is about 100 times more interesting and more tolerable than the Beijing version). It was quite long, I was pretty tired and it finally ended. Here’s where it gets cool. Our drive from the theatre to the hotel was about a 45 minute drive earlier in the day. But, since we were somehow inserted into the Party leader’s motorcade and every street was shut down and every light was green we made it in about 15 minutes. My first thought was “I hope one day I’m important enough that I am in a motorcade that I actually deserve to be in, not just by chance.” The Chinese Party Leaders were forced to stay in a four star hotel vs. our five star because their hotel was apparently easier to post security. That’s right.

The next morning I woke up early and went for a run to the Yangzi River to get a close up view. The river is massive. There are freighters all along it and the water wouldn't necessarily be well thought of by the World Health Organization. Cool nonetheless.

After my run we ended up going to the opening ceremonies of the conference. It’s a funny thing in China. Big events aren’t considered important unless they have their token white man present. We were their token white men. I was invited onstage by the organizers but I failed to bring a suit to China. If I had a suit, I would have been standing alongside the Communist Party leader of Anhui province and the mayor. Why? Best way to describe this is to say that it has a lot to do with my international appearance! It was an interesting morning filled with cartoons.

Finally, we bailed and had another banquet lunch. Before heading home, Dr. Lu arranged for us to go fishing (see pictures below). Fishing in China was something I never thought I would have the chance to do. It was a really cool experience and although I caught no fish (I blame it on the bait they gave me), I had a really good time.

I feel like I’ve been extremely spoiled in the past two days primarily by the Communist Government. I don’t think the rest of my stay will be like that but it was a really great way to start off my time in China.

I’ll try to do some fun and interesting things as soon as possible in order to make this blog actually readable.

Thanks,

Michael

Pictures:

Polluted but pretty cool view nonetheless. Yangzi River with heavy traffic. WuHu in the foreground.

I wasn't kidding about being treated like royalty. Not enough space for my last name, no biggie. It's the thought that counts.

On a Chinese assembly line.

Turtle head anyone? Who would ever eat that?

I would! This sounds disgusting, but the brain is actually really delicious. Tender.

Communist Party Leader of Anhui Province

Fishing in the middle of farmland. Traditional style. Fun stuff.

CHOICE!

2009-10-16T04:32:00.000-07:00

Entering most countries poses a problem. This problem is simple and common: language. However, thanks to the British incredible ability to conquer nations and create colonies, we Americans reap the benefit. Shall we point out a few: India, South Africa, most of Africa, Australia, Canada, Hong Kong, and of course, New Zealand. This might sound great to some, but it does come with a hitch. English in New Zealand can actually seem like a foreign language sometimes. It’s amazing. Slang like “Sweet as!”, “Choice”, “Mate”, “JAFA”, “Cheers”, “Breakie”, “Sunnies”, and way too many more. In order, translated to English: “Awesome”, “Great”, “Friend”, Just another F***** Aucklander”, “Goodbye”, “Breakfast”, “Sunglasses.” The point I’m trying to make is this, sometimes you might as well be in a country that speaks a foreign language. It’s almost like Spanish vs. Portuguese or Mandarin vs. Cantonese; it gets tough.

The good news is that no matter what, these people, foreign language speakers or not, are good mates. (See some of you might think that means good for reproducing or a good lay but you would be wrong). They are simply cool people. When stretching the limits of what is humanly possible and mentally permissible, it really helps to have good folks cheering you on and helping you every step. Which brings me to my next point.

A great example: ice climbing. Now this isn’t your every day hike up a hill that has a little ice buildup because of yesterday’s slight drizzle. I’m talking straight 80 foot glacier cliffs with a vertical slope and a few overhangs. It was surreal. Also quite frightening. I’m starting to realize the power of adrenaline. With activities like ice climbing with pickaxes and skydiving and scuba diving and whitewater rafting and mountain biking, I don’t understand why people need drugs. Adrenaline is the most incredible drug. Best of all, it usually comes pretty cheap. Life is unbelievable. Life in New Zealand is a gift from God.

Ice climbing consisted of stiff boots, crampons (ice picks on feet), two ice axes, and a helmet. With three anchors at the top of the ice wall acting as a pulley and a person holding the other end of the rope with a belaying device, your objective is to climb the wall by kicking the ice and reaching as high as possible with the axes. By the time you reach the top, you can’t feel your arms if you are lucky. If you happen to under-work and don’t reach the point of paralysis in your arms, you feel pain like it’s going out of business. Top it all off with an accidental look down to an 80 foot straight drop onto jagged ice and you got yourself a rush of adrenaline.

I don’t know if the pictures do it justice but it was one hell of a day. Definitely the most incredible thing I have done this entire trip. It’s something I really hope to do again in the near future.

Explanation of the hair. Transformation is the best word to describe it. It might only be mental but it works well enough for me. The reason I decided to allow Matt Hall to do this to my head was because I realized that jumping out of a plane was not something the reserved Michael would be willing to do. I needed a new me at least for the time being. I thought the archetypal being that does things like jump out of planes or climb ice walls that are far too tall usually has a Mohawk and not a care in the world. That was the goal. So far it seems to be working. Fear not my amazing brother and my poor mother, the landing strip will be gone by the end of the trip and before I meet anyone who may judge me at first sight.

Thanks everyone for your support. This whole experience has been amazing. I leave for China again on Monday and I’m not sure what exactly I’ll be doing while I’m there but I promise to keep uploading pictures and blogs.

Love and Prayers,

Michael

Picton, New Zealand. Speaks for itself, make sure you enlarge it.

We saw this dead cow on our tour of Glenorchy.

Glenorchy

That's higher than it looks, especially if you look down.

So much fun.

Toodaloo...

G'day Mate

2009-10-13T04:04:00.000-07:00

Picture above will be explained tomorrow. For now, I shaved my head and left a Mohawk.

Moving on. Have you ever been to a place where you seriously considered never leaving? Giving up everything you have worked so hard for and living the simple life? Knowing that no matter how terrible your life is, you can always rest assured that you live in one of the most beautiful places on planet earth? New Zealand is that place.

It’s hard to elaborate in words but it parallels heaven on earth. I don’t mean that in the cliché way that most people use it, but I actually think that if God ever chose a place on earth to be heaven, it would look a lot like New Zealand. With a little over 1 million people and a much higher number of sheep on the island, this place is untouched. It’s impossible to find a place that reminds you of somewhere like Beijing or LA. It’s nature at it’s most pure and I’ve already vowed to retire here.

After arriving in Christchurch we quickly headed across the island to Queenstown where the town is surrounded by mountains and the most beautiful lake I’ve ever seen. While the mountains don’t reach extremely high altitudes, they do protrude up to 12,000 ft from sea level which is indescribable. We spent most of yesterday exploring Queenstown until we decided to white water raft down a class 4 section. With water at a sweltering 4 degrees Celsius, we were chilly to say the least. Unfortunately, nobody in our raft could match AJ’s ejection in Placerville this past summer. It was fun nonetheless.

After rafting we took a locals recommendation and decided to eat at Fergburger. Go ahead, do it now, make fun of the name. Do not make fun of their burgers. Matt Hall and I decided we would take the Fergburger Challenge and attempt to eat Big Al, their largest burger. It consisted of a half pound of meat, beets, onions, tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, bacon, two fried eggs, and various sauces. It was truly a man’s burger, better yet, a manburger. We both succeeded with varying degrees of stomach pain but the feeling of absolute masculinity that followed was well worth it.

Today was no less exciting. We woke up around 3:30 am and headed straight for Milford Sound, Fjordland. It was a four hour drive and I probably would have driven another 30 hours to simply get a glimpse of the majesty of this place. Do yourself a favor, look it up on wikipedia, then come visit it as soon as possible but don’t forget to bring me. We decided on the kayaking expedition which began at 9 am and finished around 3 pm. It was a considerable amount of work but definitely the only way to truly get a feel for the awesomeness of this place. I don’t have much else to say about it but look at my pictures, it’s otherworldly.

Tomorrow is going to be equally exciting. Pray for me. I miss you all and I’m sorry for such a short blog and for such a long period of no blog as the last few days have been hectic.

Let me know how you like the pictures!

Pictures:

Te Anau- Beautiful and has even better food.

View from pier in Queenstown.

View from peer overlooking water.

View from outside hotel.

Beach beneath hotel.

Sunset

Fjords in Fjordland. Honestly, this picture does this place no justice. You have to come on your own to understand it's beauty. Imagine kayaking while surrounded by cliffs rising close to 5,000 feet. Waterfalls were unbelievable. It was cold, but I would have done it a thousand times over.

Who's that beauty on the left? Kayaking in Fjordland. This is before the haircut as you can see.

Thank you everyone, keep me in your prayers!

Michael

75% is Passing!

2009-10-09T04:08:00.000-07:00

75% is Passing!

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. “Passing isn’t good enough.” But accomplishing 4.5 out of 6 of the requests in under 24 hours seems pretty legitimate to me. Then again, I’m white so in America that would mean it probably comes out more like a D- after we add affirmative action into the mix. In other words, I’m really sorry folks, I guess I’m going to have to submit my poor performance of 4.5/6.

So the whole challenge to get as many people to come up with ideas proved two things: 1) some of you are really creative and fun 2) most of you aren’t. I’m going to namedrop in somewhat of an awards ceremony kind of way as I work my way through the list of things I was suggested and things I did.

The first suggestion I received was from my wonderful neighbor Nicole Bayus. Now, I expected nothing less than a superb recommendation from this creative-souled individual and she pulled through. Suggesting the Beijing Opera, 京剧，certainly was something that is an integral part of the Chinese culture and most importantly their art forms. Unfortunately, by no fault of Nicole’s, it turns out Beijing Opera is about as exciting as listening to President Obama give a speech. Yea I said it. I just inserted politics into my blog, sue me. The point is, I can’t tell you how quickly I wanted this thing to end. I don’t know if it was the incredibly high pitched ear-shattering voices these girls had or if it was the fact that the plot was like something out of a Barney movie. With all these negatives there were also some positives. Beijing Opera focuses around music, singing, dancing, and acting. I actually started to appreciate the amount of talent that some of the actors have. While I didn’t necessarily enjoy the Opera, I did come to respect parts of it. Finally, I will say that I am glad I was able to experience this. I’ve learned about it in class and now I can finally say I know what the Beijing Opera really is.

Thank you Nicole. I give you an A in creativity.

Michael - 1/1

Opera at its finest.

Screechy voice, great makeup.

Cool ribbon!

The next post I received was from none other than my wonderful sister Kimberlee. Now normally I would have expected something fascinating from her. Instead I was asked to take a picture of a Chinese dung-catcher. For those of you who don’t understand, she wanted me to take a picture of a defecating hole. Fortunately for everyone following this blog and for my nostrils, she left me a second option. “Got eat a bug for me.” This wasn’t extremely creative, but it was a challenge nonetheless and I took it as such. I could have whimped out and eaten something like a cricket or a cockroach but I decided to go all out. You will see below, and if you really care to watch on facebook, me eating a fried scorpion. And here’s the most shocking part. I actually enjoyed the first bite so much that I finished the other three.

Kimberlee, I hope you are satisfied. I give you an A in excitement. I won’t mention your grade in creativity.

Michael - 2/2

Yumm (click on the picture for detail of the scorpion, and my nosehair)

The third response I received was another one of my amazing sisters, Natalie. Of course Natalie did her homework and found one of the coolest places I’ve seen in China. Unfortunately, she didn’t remember the rules. It had to be in Beijing. Guilin is a pretty cool place with caves and mountains and lakes and all sorts of interesting things. It’s also about a 20 hour train ride south of Beijing.

Natalie, I give you an A for coming up with the coolest thing that I couldn’t do. But I’ll try after New Zealand! PS- Tell Madisen I love her!

Michael- 2/3

The fourth response is where it gets interesting. Now for some reason, people start giving me things to do that might get me killed and of course, being the risk taker that I am, I oblige. The sad part is, it’s my mother that inadvertently tried to kill me. Her recommendation follows: “Find a hospital and see what it looks like inside. You probably can’t take pictures but go inside anyways” (I paraphrase). AKA – Michael, I know H1N1 is going around there like crazy, but would you mind doing me a favor and not showing what one looks like but still walking in and in turn putting your life in danger? Sure mom, could I do anything else for you? Want me to tell you what it feels like to get AIDS? Or how about we can do an experiment where we cut my head off and you watch to see how many times I can wink while decapitated? Mind you, this is the woman who didn’t want me to skydive or go river rafting in New Zealand. Irony.

Now, truth be told, I don’t really believe my mother wants to kill me and because I love her so much, I tried to try it. The thing was, when I showed up at the hospital, I saw hundreds of people walking in and out with masks on. Now, I take risks, but I’m not an idiot. I didn’t go in out of fear, call me a whimp, I just couldn’t do it. I did however take pictures and asked if I was allowed to walk in. So there you go mother. I love you and you certainly love me.

Mom, you will get an A for being my mom. Just because I don’t think anyone could have done a better job raising me, nor would they ever have wanted to. J

Michael – 3/4

About as close as I got.

Fifth response comes from my dear friend Genna. Again, unintentionally, Genna came up with a life-threatening proposal. To most individuals, visiting a bee sanctuary might seem like a good idea. However, two things didn’t occur to Genna when she made this proposal: 1) I’m allergic to bees and NEVER carry an Epi-Pen with me, 2) This is China. When I say this is China it’s for this reason—normally in countries like America, or even socialist nations like France, there are things called safety regulations. Bee sanctuaries might be visible through glass or somewhere that you can’t get stung in case they decided to attack. However, China does just about the opposite. Instead of waiting for you to enter the museum, they prefer the shock and awe technique where before you enter you have to walk through a barrage of bees attempting to get back to their hives to feed the queen. Brilliant! Except that I was so fearful of my life I took three pictures of the bee “nests” and took off running in the other direction.

Thank you Genna for your idea, it truly was an experience. You receive an A by virtue of the fact that in order to get to the Bee Museum, I actually had to go to the Beijing Botanical Garden which was not only beautiful but actually really interesting.

Michael – 4/5

Far-too-exposed and far too many bee hives.

If you enlarge, you can see them flying!!!!!!!!!! EVERYWHERE!

The final post automatically gets an A because it came from three of my favorite people and because it didn’t put my life in any sort of danger. This comes from Lotte, my wonderful sister-in-law who has produced two of the most amazing children this world has ever seen, and of course Cayman and Anderson, my niece and nephew respectively. I was asked to help Cayman with one of her projects in finding a community helper. Now since this is a Communist Country I could have taken the easy way out and taken a picture of just about anyone that was walking on the street. I am a bigger person than that and decided I would dig deeper. Although I couldn’t find a doctor (please see above for reason) I was able to find several interesting community helpers. A police officer with a shank attached to what appears to be his assault rifle. A group of military men sitting in the seats of the water cube at Olympic park doing absolutely nothing to help the community. People rappelling from the roof of a building that is much too tall and cleaning windows. And finally, a taxi.

Now I realize these probably aren’t ideal, but Lotte, I was honestly afraid for my life to walk up to Hu Jintao or even walk into the hospital and ask to take a picture. These are the best I could do. I think the one with the police officer is actually pretty cool. If need be, I give you permission to blur out the rifle and shank in case that is seen as a little too aggressive in nature for Cayman’s kindergarten class.

Lotte, Anderson, and Cayman all get an A. However, their father gets an Incomplete for failing to suggest a single thing on the blog. Way to lead by example John.

Michael – 5/6

Rugged. Don't mind the peace sign.

America, have no fear, China's army is near.

Wow...

Taxi Driver nearly killing anyone and everyone in his way.

Chinese street-sweepers.

Thank you for playing this weeks edition of “Coming Up With Ideas for Michael to do so He Wont’ Have To!”

By the way, can someone please fill me in on why Obama just won the Nobel Peace Prize? Is that some kind of joke? Is it because he finally brought peace to Iraq and Afghanistan? Or is it because he let North Korea use the Atlantic Ocean as target practice for nuclear missiles? Maybe it’s because he thought it would be a good idea to accuse Iran of holding weapons of mass destruction; after all, we saw how well that worked last time in the obtaining peace.

Farewell China for now, hello New Zealand.

Ciao!

Michael

Break the Monotony

2009-10-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

At the end of this blog post I will indulge each and every one of you with a compilation of funny, sometimes hilarious, pictures I have taken since I've been in this wonderful country. However, first thing's first.

Since I have been here for about 7 days total and every day I have been challenged to come up with something entertaining or travel somewhere cool I have decided to turn the tables.

Here it is:

I CHALLENGE EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO READS THIS TO EMBARK ON AN INTELLECTUAL JOURNEY, BE IT GOOGLE, WIKIPEDIA, ETC, IN SEARCH OF SOMETHING OR SOMEWHERE UNIQUE YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO VISIT FOR YOU IN OR AROUND BEIJING. ANYTHING ON MY LIST THAT IS REASONABLE WILL BE VISITED, PHOTOGRAPHED AND WRITTEN ABOUT IN THE FOLLOWING BLOG.

Fine Print: Things like the Great Wall and Tiananmen Square are not considered unique. I'm thinking about things like the strangest food you can find in Beijing and then challenge me to try it. I dare you.

Hopefully this post comes back with some refreshingly new ideas. Get to work.

Now, here is your indulgence.

Pictures:

1. On a sacred Buddhist temple in the Summer Palace, Peggy explains how much she loves New York. I understand most Americans aren't the brightest, but Peggy proves that the dumbest come from NY.

2. There she is again. Peace be with you. And also with you.

3. One of my favorites. Look at the sincerity, she's not half-assing that one.

4. The beautiful lake, and then of course, she pops up again.

5. I'm not sure if this picture is sad or funny. It's sad because the little monkey is eating paper. It's funny because, well, the little monkey is eating paper. PETA, please don't sue me, it's the Beijing Zoo.

6. This I know is funny. That little kid wouldn't stop hitting the glass and then all of a sudden, this brilliant monkey shared how he felt about the kid.

7. People feeding the zebras. That sign is just a mistranslation, it really says, in Chinese, "Feed These Animals Because We Aren't"

8. They teach the peace sign very young here in China.

9. That sign really says, "Parents, don't let your kids climb on these statues, instead you should pick them up and put them on the statues."

Matter

2009-10-06T05:33:00.000-07:00

Some of you are probably wondering why I named this Blog post “Matter.” As opposed to the previous posts, which I would like to call “Antimatter,” I intend to fill this one with loads of new and interesting experiences—substance you might say. Others of you might be asking: “Michael, isn’t antimatter the lack of matter altogether, therefore leading me to conclude that you haven’t posted anything in the past and they are all figments of my imagination?” Still others of you, few I imagine, who understand that antimatter is just a poor choice of a name given to a substance that can not be seen but must exist according to current scientific datasets and models might understand that I am simply attempting to differentiate between posts that contain entertainment and posts that contain pictures of landmarks and historical references and the like.

So here is Matter:

Yesterday was rather uneventful. For this reason I decided to opt out of blogging about it and losing a lot interest in this forum. I did do a lot of studying Chinese and a lot of reading. However life became a little more exciting when I decided to make a trip to Hou Hai (后海 for those of you that can read Chinese). When I arrived, I was swiftly greeted by a young man inviting me to a “Nu Hai Ba Jiu”, or a “Women Bar”, where he said, and I quote, “The women are cheap, but the beer is cheaper.”

Needless to say I declined.

I met up with some friends and we had hot pot. Interjection: I know I warn everyone about the food out here and how “terrible” it can be at times. But when I say this, I mean it as a warning for those of you who think anything besides hot dogs and steak is considered going out on a limb. In other words, for people who like to try new things, the food here is incredible. Hot pot is a type of food, similar to “The Melting Pot”, where you order a lot of uncooked foods and cook it in a boiler placed in front of you. I could probably eat this meal every night. When I say I love the food here in China, I mean it. It has literally gotten to the point where every morning I wake up excited for what new food the day might bring. Don’t worry Candice, I’m trying to offset this with a consistent workout schedule.

Today was a little more adventurous. After a short video chat with my enlightening brother, I was motivated to go out and explore places I’ve already been and see what I happen upon. The results are shown below in pictures. The first place I visited was the Summer Palace. The Summer Palace is an interesting place for many reasons. It was first built in the 1700’s as a place of respite for the Emperor. It consists primarily of what I like to think of as little ancient Chinese condominiums and several larger temples for worshipping the all-knowing Buddha. It was destroyed in the Anglo-French invasion of 1860 but rebuilt in 1902. Behind the primary structure are seven smaller temples, each for some different kind of Buddhist worship. All of the structures are beautiful, I only wonder how true to their original form they really are.

After the Summer Palace I decided to visit the Olympic Park. It was jam packed, unsurprisingly. However, I was fortunate enough to find an illegal scalper working hard to make his money selling a ticket to get inside the Water Cube. I got a full on tour of the place and was also able to get really close to the Birds Nest and pictures of both are posted below as well. Apparently they had a special where you could pay to swim in the Water Cube and I considered it until I came to the realization that Michael Phelps won however many Gold Medals in that precise pool and I felt it would be borderline sacrilege for someone of my caliber to even touch the water. Again, I declined.

It is now evening in Beijing and I have been here for 6 days. While I wasn’t able to sneak into Tibet or North Korea, I have been making the most of my time since I’ve been here. My Chinese has already improved and I have discovered parts of Beijing I didn’t even know existed. With that said, I anxiously await not only New Zealand which I leave for this Saturday, but also Hefei. I would love to sit and write more and explain to you why cultural relativism is so important to understand while visiting countries like China but I really must go. Hot pot is waiting and I’ve always been told to never leave the one you love waiting.

Pictures: (Click on them to enlarge)
1. The result of a glorious hot pot!
2. Summer Palace -- resembles a Chinese Venice, somewhat
3. The Seven Temples
4. Detail work ladies and gentlemen. The Chinese don't half-ass their refurbishing.
5. Old China (foreground) and New China (background)
6. Temple of Buddhist Virtue at Summer Palace
7. Birds Nest
8. Water Cube outside
9. Inside the Water Cube

Do's and Don'ts

2009-10-04T01:06:00.000-07:00

There’s a reason stereotypes will always exist. For one, they are usually fact 90% of the time. For two—when they do pull through, nothing makes for a better laugh. When we think of the Chinese in particular, one such stereotype comes to mind: the peace sign. Hippies love the peace sign because it means peace; the deep love Chinese people share towards the peace sign is akin to the way we cherish religion. It’s similar to a smile in America, no picture will suffice without one.

This brings me to my next point. I decided that most people who read this blog are looking for entertainment and knowledge, both of which I have proven to lack. However, I thought if I could compile a list of do’s and do not’s, this blog might miraculously become useful if anyone were to every venture off into this faraway land. So here they are:

Do’s:

Bring your own food in case of emergency (aka- every day you care to eat).
Hold up peace sign in every picture you take or you will be frowned upon.
Understand that no matter how hungry you are, you will see something at any given restaurant that will change that quickly.
Always give yourself an hour cushion to travel anywhere—even if it’s across the street.
Realize that when everyone in a given area says good morning to you, it’s not because they are friendly, but rather because they want to impress their friends with their fluent English.

Do Not’s:

Do not come to China if you are overweight or again, you will be frowned upon.
Do not expect much in terms of Fire Codes and Handicap-friendliness.
Do not be alarmed if you see a baby defecating next to a statue of Mao Ze Dong. The reason being that babies defecate everywhere and statues of Mao are everywhere—it’s the law of percentages; if babies poop everywhere and there are statues of Mao everywhere, babies much poop near statues of Mao right? Right.
Do not expect to be anywhere public with less than 30,000 people staring at your every move. If you’re black, increase that number 10-fold.
Do not laugh at someone’s shirt because it has poor grammar; you know that shirt you have at home with Chinese symbols on it? It probably says something along the lines of “I sleep with monkeys.” Seriously.

I hopefully will have more to come. These are the most prevalent for now. But now I shall elaborate a little more.

Food in China literally means the nearest thing that someone in history has attempted to stomach. A picture in China isn’t a picture without a peace sign (please see below). A dead animal hanging in the window of the restaurant is not uncommon. It takes 4 times as long as expected to get anywhere in this place. Chinese people treat overweight people as though they are African American’s living in Mississippi in the 30’s. Walking into a tunnel with 1,000,000 other people is not considered dangerous, but rather a “light crowd” (please see below). And my personal favorite—everyone wears shirts that could say just about anything as long as it looks relatively English, it’s fashionable.

Yesterday was fun, I was sick most of the day but luckily it was only food poisoning. I am hoping a quarantine official won’t show up anytime soon. I felt better towards the end of the day and went to a Yunan Province style restaurant. It was extremely spicy, not very easy on the stomach, delicious nonetheless.

This morning I woke up around 0700 and went to a Catholic Church called St. Michael’s. It was built in 1901 by a French priest. The mass was entirely in Chinese which was an awesome experience. It seemed in line with the Vatican, but then again, I couldn’t understand much. After Church I decided to check out Tiananmen which I quickly realized was a terrible idea during the Fall Festival because of the ridiculous amount of people everywhere. I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever been surrounded by so many people in my life. One of the pictures below shows hordes of people trying to cross the street through a tunnel. A terrorist’s dream! I saw a pretty overweight kid out here and felt really bad for him. People stared at him like he was some sort of anomaly which I guess in China he pretty much is. Of course every child below the age of 15 (exaggeration) has their seam on the butt cut out so they can turn everything from a planter to a watering hole into a toilet. I thought taking a picture of that could be seen as child pornography so I erred on the side of not being imprisoned and decided against it.

Enjoy the pictures, I’ll try to keep them coming!

Michael

Pictures:

1. Token Peace Sign Girl #1

2. Token Peace Sign Girl #2 (Keep in mind, I don't look for these people, they just pop up in random pictures because they are everywhere!)

3. St. Michael's Catholic Church

4. Barbecued Congo Eel with Wikipedia (Sounds delicious)

5. Scorpions anyone? These weren't cooked yet so most were still thrashing about.

6. Way too many people trying to go into a way too small tunnel at Tiananmen.

7. Duck hanging in the window of a delicious restaurant, right next to our table.

I Forgot How Much I Love This Place

2009-10-02T23:18:00.001-07:00

There’s not much going on in Beijing at 6:00 am, but I made do. I decided I would return to my old stomping grounds from last year and pay my respects. Er Li Zhuang, it’s called, and it hasn’t changed a bit. I decided against showing up at my host family’s house and surprising them since I don’t know if they would recognize me and might possibly call the authorities. Instead, I headed for the train station, Beijing West, in search of a ticket to Tibet.

It’s amazing how there appear to be more buses on the streets in Beijing than people, yet for some reason no matter where you want to go, it takes at least a mile of walking to get there after riding 13 different buses. I finally made it to the train station though and asked about 45 people where I could get a Tibet Travelers Permit; not a single one had any idea what I was talking about.

This is where being 100% fluent in a language proves a lot more useful than being 50%. I decided the train station was not the place I needed to be and instead headed for the hotel where I could use my broken Chinese to converse with their broken English.

Apparently the Chinese really don’t mess around when it comes to holidays. Communist China’s 60^th anniversary isn’t October 1^st, but rather October 1 – 10. Convenient. Now, this might seem pretty cool for the 30 million people or so living in Beijing, but it’s really rough for me considering not a single travel agency is open between now and the day I leave for New Zealand. Luckily, desperate businessmen do exist in Beijing.

I got in contact with one travel agency by calling the guys cell phone. He gave me the run down that China doesn’t allow any foreigners to visit Tibet without a tour guide and a traveler’s permit. However, traveler’s permits usually take up to 10 days to get, leaving me basically out of luck. He said he would see what he could do but I have a really strong feeling it isn’t much.

In order to get my taste of Chinese history for the day, I decided it was my time to be enlightened by the Temple of Heaven. Now, let me explain something about Chinese architecture and how unique it is. The first couple important places are amazing. For example, when I first saw the Summer Palace and Tian’anmen, I was in awe. But after a while, it seems like every important ancient building starts to look the exact same. I don’t mean to downplay these places because they are all quite amazing and the history is pretty awesome, but at the same time, it seems like the only thing that catches my attention anymore is the historical aspect of it all.

The name “Temple of Heaven” sets a standard that really makes it difficult for the place to exceed or even meet expectations. It was beautiful no doubt, very relaxing because it was almost entirely covered in gardens and trees. Apparently it used to be the Emperor’s religious center. Now it’s just filled with old Chinese people dancing and doing tai chi—go figure. I guess that’s what happens when Communism virtually wiped all religions off the map in the past 60 years.

Now I’m sitting here, all alone, peering out over the skyline of Beijing wishing I could be riding on a train to Tibet. If anyone has any connections in the government out here, please try and help me out. But whatever you do, don’t tell them you found out I needed help when you read my illegal blog!

Thanks, rather Xie Xie.

Stay Classy Everyone!

Michael

Picture #1 - Beijing's West Train Station
#2 - Temple of Heaven
#3 - Temple of Heaven Garden

Call It National Pride

2009-10-01T03:38:00.000-07:00

Thirteen hour flights can be pretty draining. Then again, sleeping the majority of the flight makes for a much easier transition of a 15 hour time change and the virtual elimination of September 30th, 2009 from my life. China proved once again that reliability is not a priority in the Orient. Thirty minutes before our scheduled landing in Beijing we were redirected to Tianjin because of "poor weather conditions." On the tarmac, we waited, and waited. Two hours to be precise. Of course, my arrival date of October 1st happens to be the 60th anniversary of the Communist ruling of the People's Republic of China. Consequently, Beijing airport cut off all flights arriving after 9 am. Lucky for us, we landed at 8:45 am, just in time for tea.

The airport was massive, just as I remembered. I hurried down to the taxi-fetch and hopped into the first taxi available. I called the hotel for directions and, like clockwork--always reliable--found out all the roads leading into the vicinity of my hotel were shut down for security purposes.

Goodbye taxi driver, hello God-forsaken subway system. Even the subway system had it's limits. The closest I could get to the hotel was a 15 minute walk. Not too bad when you don't have a 50 lb backpack on and a 50 lb bag to handle.

Much to nobodies surprise, I got lost. In my infinite wisdom I decided that Line 2's stop at Dongsi Shitiao was equivalent to Line 5's stop at Dongsi. Turns out I ended up on the wrong side of Beijing. I guess that's one of the beauties of not really knowing where the heck you're going--you get to see places you never would have in perfect circumstances.

I called the hotel and they sent a bus boy to come and rescue me from the Zelda-esque maze of Beijing. I arrived at the hotel and quickly dropped off my bags in the room and headed straight for Tiananmen to see the parade. Apparently, in China, parades are exclusively for the people in them and foreigners watching them on TV. I couldn't get within a mile from the parade route, let alone Tiananmen. Barricaded for days. I resorted to sitting in my room and watching the display I was so thrilled to be able to see in person--or so I thought.

I'm pretty exhausted, probably because of the time change but I'm sure walking around for two hours in search of a back entrance to fool the government and see the parade firsthand didn't help. I guess it also doesn't help walking through customs watching yourself on an infrared computer monitor hoping to God your temperature doesn't rise above 98.6 degrees in which case you'd be spending your first 10 days quarantined to a room with no human interaction. I passed. My final challenge of the day was to circumvent China's ban of Blogspot, Facebook, CNN, and just about every other website that isn't controlled by the Chinese government. Took me about two hours to figure out I could do it with a personal VPN. And now, I can bring you these glorious blog posts for the next 2.5 months.

I did some research on Tibet, I'll be attempting to connive my way into that glorious region tomorrow when I visit a travel agent. Turns out the Chinese language comes back rather quickly, and to my surprise, I actually got along quite well with the taxi drivers, hotel clerks, and soldiers.

The pictures posted are of a fighter-jet flyby and a stoic, full of pride, Chinese modern warrior. Enjoy. ---Turns out internet doesn't want to allow me to upload pictures. Maybe tomorrow.

Zaijian,

Michael

欢迎朋友们

2009-09-29T18:51:00.001-07:00

"Don't get H1N1!" "Stay away from the dog meat." "Take a lot of pictures." "Don't forget to update your blog!" "Eat as much American food as possible." Most importantly, courtesy of my brother-in-law: "If you see a bunch of people running in one direction, run the other way."

I leave tonight with all these wonderful words of wisdom taken to heart. The importance of these little suggestions shouldn't be taken too lightly, I know. But it's not necessarily the opinions or the thoughts that are important to me; it's the fact that many of you aren't just saying these things in jest or because they are expected, but because you actually care!

I know, half of you fell out of your seats in hysteria right now, but let's be honest, for the 1/1,000% of you that might actually care what I'll be learning about myself and the world in these next three months--I appreciate it. It motivates me. I guess you could equate it to a lone farmer in the highlands of Africa waking up on a dewy spring morning to find his hen, Loretta, with a record breaking 15 eggs beneath her supple bottom.

You get the point.

Maybe you don't; either way it doesn't really matter. I set out for the Middle Kingdom at the wee hour of 0140 from LAX to arrive in the capital of the wonderful communist capital of Beijing--Peking for you stubborn folk. Weather will be mild, people will be plentiful. Air will be clean.....er than before the olympics at least. And most importantly, there will be a lot of Chinese language being thrown around.

Keep track of these updates, I promise they will get more exciting. I have a lot of life-threatening things lined up for your pleasure. I figure it this way, if one of us has to go in order for everyone else to experience some amazing things, I should be the one to do it. Whatever you do, don't mention that little detail to my wonderful mother!

Good night and good luck,

Michael Wurth signing off.